Dragon Age 2: Rosia Hawke's Tale
by shura mezzki
Summary: What if Hawke was adopted into the Hawke family? Sorry, I suck at summaries :'3
1. Chapter 1

Dragon Age II:Rosia Hawke's Tale

disclaimer: I do not own DA2, the glorious Bioware does :')

no sodding flames please, thank you :)!

Prolouge

_'Child of the wilderness_

_Born into emptiness_

_Learn to be lonely_

_Learn to find your way in darkness_

_Who will be there for you_

_Comfort and care for you_

_Learn to be lonely_

_Learn to be your one companion_

_Never dreamed out in the world_

_There are arms to hold you_

_You've always known your heart was on its own_

_So laugh in your loneliness_

_Child of the wilderness_

_Learn to be lonely_

_Learn how to love life that is lived alone_

_Learn to be lonely_

_Life can be lived, life can be loved alone'_

- 'The Phantom of the Opera'

My first memories were of my mother looking at me with pure terror and loathing in her eyes, then slapping me 'til I could taste blood, chanting _Maker please cleanse her of her sin, maker please cleanse her of her sin, Maker-._ I wondered what I did to deserve her warth and the Makers forgiveness. The madness in her actions forever in my memory.

The next day men in glimming armor came to take me away. I called out to my mother, tears streaming down my cheeks and snot running from my nose. But she was already dead, the fire eveloping our home, her shrill screams I can still hear 'til this day.

The men in armor lay dead at my feet, the armor melted to their skin to form grotesque creatures in agony. My feet start to move on their own achord, leading me nowhere in particular. Night turns to day as the months roll by. I had settled on the outskirts of a small village, only venturing there when I need to steal food.

After taking what I needed, I climb out the window only to by cought by one of the glimming men in armor. _You little street urchin, you're coming with me. _I start to feel energy corse through me again, same as when the same men tried to take me from my mother. I was about to release the energy when a voice came out of nowhere, _There you are Rosia! I've been looking everywhere for you!_ I turn to spot a smiling dark-haired man with his arms crossed infront of his chest, a twinkle in his eyes. The sound of the armored man snaps me back to reality _You know her sir?, Why I have best to, shes my daughter._, they continue on as i stare at the dark-haired man in wide-eye'd amazement. _Daughter..._, its been so long since anyone one has claimed me as such. Before I know it I'm crying.

The armored man see me sobbing and shoves me into the dark-haired man's way, _Just learn how to watch your children more closely sir, good night., Thank you Templar_. I look up at the man with narrowed eyes and back away warily, _what do I own you?_, hes at me in puzzlement for a moment then chuckles, _I require nothing from you girl, just return the food you stole in the morning and apologize._ I growl at him in anger but he just keeps smiling warmly at me, i soon relent and walk towards him. _My name is Malcolm what is yours?_ I look away from him then, i'm not sure why I do, _I don't remember. _I glance up at him, I see pity in his eyes before I look down at my feet again. He place his hand on my shoulder and I start to tense up, _My wife may not like this but... I feel the Fade in you child and you're not safe from the Templars since you can't control your own power. So... Come stay with us._ I sigh a breathe I didn't know I was holding and relax a bit. I look up at him again and see warmth in his eyes, something I haven't seen since mother.

_Okay..._

~0~

This is something I had thought up while playing through DA2 again but as an aggressive Hawke(I like shit like this, but couldn't find any). Please give me some feedback on this, I really don't this I did a good job on this D:.

THANK YOU FOR READING!


	2. Chapter 2

Dragon Age II: Rosia Hawke's Tale

I do not own Dragon Age THE EPIC BIOWARE DOES! WOOT!

Thanks to fujingodofwind and kdamell2, your comments really helped :'D!

Please review and no sodding flames, thank you :3!

_Old hope, got stuck in your throat, _

_Wound it's way round your neck _

_And caused you to choke._

_Old hope, made of rope, _

_That held you tight as the chair legs broke._

_When they found you hanging in the wood, _

_You said at least now I don't have to kind nor good. _

_I'll be cruel and I'll be obscene, _

_Tear out my tongue, _

_'Cause I've been redeemed._

_When they found you hanging in the wood, _

_You said at least now I don't have to be kind nor good. _

_I'll be cruel and I'll be obscene, _

_Tear out my tongue, _

_'Cause I've been redeemed._

_Save my blushes for the grave, _

_No shy glance, no coy restraint, _

_And I won't hang my head, _

_And I won't repent, _

_Won't face the wall and count to ten_

_5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10... _

_Well they tore you down _

_And they tore out your tongue, _

_And they made you kneel _

_For all the things that you'd done. _

_But you wouldn't cry, _

_You wouldn't beg, _

_You just screamed _

_And tore out your teeth instead._

_And when they found you hangin in the woods, _

_You said at least now I don't have to be kind nor good. _

_I'll be cruel and I'll be obscene _

_Tear out my tongue, _

_I've been redeemed._

_-'Tear Out My Tongue/Ye Olde Hope', Florence + The Machine_

It had been fifthteen years since that night, yet I can still remember it vividly like it was just the other night it happened.

I'm thankful for Malcolm saving me and giving me a home, but I wonder if living with people that hate you is even better. Leandra smiles and acts motherly towards me, but when she thinks that the twins and I are asleep, I hear her complain and gripe about my prescence in the household. I try to make her love me like she does her actual children. I do more chores, help her with the laundry and cooking, even as a child I've tried to at least make her like me but nothing works. Carver also is equally, if not down right, scornful. I have done nothing to the boy to have him hate so. Bethany is the only one besides Malcolm to not hate me for merely being; she follows me like a baby duck would to it's mother.

As the years passed, Leandra's hatred of me became more apparent each day; she'd give me less to help with but complain more about me not helping her around the house. Then she would ration my meals and give everyone else larger ones. Malcolm would try to confront her about it but then her passive bullying would increase so I begged him to leave it alone, I soon learned how to eat little-if any-of anything she would give me. Carver grew more hateful and whiny while Bethany became our peacemaker and saint.

Everyone in the village can't stop talking about the blight, they whisper their fears to one another like gossiping old women; I fear for Malcolm's health everyday, he seems to have come in contact with some strange illness. Bethany and I have tried to heal him everyday but nothing seems to work on his stubborn illness.

Carver has left to help the king fight off the horde at Ostagar, I pray for his safety every night. Malcolm has taken a turn for the worst as the months roll by, he can barely even drink water anymore... I fear he will not live to see tomorrow morning at this rate.

_Ro...Rosia... Come(cough)here... Please._

_Yes Malcolm? _I grasp hands that used to be so big, so strong but kind and gentle, now they are cold and hard like a corpses body.

_Ple... Please ta... Take... Care(cough cough)of the family..._

Tears start to run down my cheeks, warmimg his cold hands, _Of course Malcolm ju-just hang on a bit longer... Please!_

_I'm so sorry Ro-Rosia..._ He smiles the same warm smile the night I first met him, the little spark of life in his eyes slowly fading out. I throw my head down next to his body and shed more tears than I could ever remember, Leandar walks in then and sees Malcolm's lifeless body, I don't she even breathed.

We buried him under a Large tree just a little on the outskirts of the village; Carver sent word that the king was betrayed at Ostagar and the horde was coming towards Lothering and that was about three days trip from us. I can see everyone running about the village like cockroaches, panicking, screaming, crying and praying to the Maker to save them. There is no Maker there never was and no one is coming to save us from the blight, I have to get Malcolm's family away from here and soon, no matter the means.

_~0~_

So that was chapter one, sorry i took so long to write(going through alot of stress and stuff right now -_-'). I'm sorry its such crap as well and I didn't know how Malcolm died so I just killed him by Blight sickness :'(. Also thanks again to everyone that reviewed and favourited my crappy fanfic! I really need feedback on how i'm writing it so please give me feedback. Aaaand I think thats it- Wait! This is when Rosia starts to harden so... yeah don't have anything else to say about it sooooo BYE!

I LOVE YOU ALL!


	3. Chapter 3

Dragon Age II: Rosia Hawke's Tale

I do NOT own Dragon Age 2 THE BRILIANT BIOWARE DOES!

GAAAH! Thank you all for reviewing and favouriting my crappy story... it really means alot :'D!

This chapter is a bit longer and yeah...

_"Seems that I have been held, in some dreaming state_

_A tourist in the waking world, never quite awake_

_No kiss, no gentle word could wake me from this slumber_

_Until I realise that it was you who held me under_

_Felt it in my fist, in my feet, in the hollows of my eyelids_

_Shaking through my skull, through my spine and down through my ribs_

_No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone_

_No more calling like a crow for a boy, for a body in the garden_

_No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love_

_No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love_

_No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world_

_And I could hear the thunder and see the lightning crack_

_All around the world was waking, I never could go back_

_Cos all the walls of dreaming, they were torn right open_

_And finally it seemed that the spell was broken_

_And all my bones began to shake, my eyes flew open_

_And all my bones began to shake, my eyes flew open_

_No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone_

_No more calling like a crow for a boy, for a body in the garden_

_No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love_

_No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love_

_No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world_

_Snow White's stitching up the circuitboards_

_Synapse slipping through the hidden door_

_Snow White's stitching up the circuitboard_

_No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone_

_No more calling like a crow for a boy, for a body in the garden_

_No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love_

_No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love_

_No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world_

_Snow White's stitching up the circuitboards_

_Synapse slipping through the hidden door_

_Snow White's stitching up the circuitboard_

_Synapse slipping through the hidden door"_

_-'Florence + The Machine, Blinding'_

Its strange how fast time turns; one moment I'm a child hiding from Templars, saved by the one kind soul amongst all the darkness of this world. The next, a twenty-four year-old charity case apostate.

More so when your world is destroyed in a blink of an eye.

We didn't expect the Darkspawn to mave this quickly towards us- we thought we had more time, but that was a fool's assumption. I awoke to the smell of smoke and panicked screams; running outside in only my shift, I witnessed my home for the past eighteen years, destroyed in a blink of an eye.

Women, men- even children, cut down in the streets, the fields and inside the chantry. I wonder if The Maker even exists if he can allow so much innocent blood to be shed... so many children slaughtered like cattle. Whilst in the middle of my thoughts, I didn't notice the hideous creature that The Maker deemed fit to torture us, running towards me. I barely even blinked, when the creature fell before me- blood squirting on my under garment.

_ Why are you just standing there like a fool? _Carver yells in my face, I'm snapped back to the reality of the matter at hand.

_ Hurry up and change so we can escape! _Leandra barks at me with a scowl.

~0~

We barely make it out of Lothering, I briefly look back and see it engulfed in flames. We cut down a small group of Darkspawn; stopping only for a moments time.

_ I think thats all of them._

_For the moment._

_ Maker save us we've lost it all, everything your father and I built._

_ I know much Lothering meant to you Leandra, but we have to move. _I regret those words as soon as they left my lips.

_Whose fault is it that we are even fighting through all of these Darkspawn? Making us waste precious time waiting for YOU to dress when WE should have been running? _I hang my head as Leandra spits venom at me, I look up to see Bethany apologize for her with a sad, pleading look; I just smile sadly at her. Even Carver looks pitifully at me.

_Mother..., _Bethany meekly interjects, _We should get moving before more come._

_ Right, _Leandra gives me one more death glare before turning away from me, _Let us depart then._

We encounter more Darkspawn, looting anything useful from their bodies and continue South. Bethany halts us before we go any further.

_Wait... Where are we going?_

_ Away from the Darkspawn, where else?_

_ Then where? _She inquiers, _We can't just wander... Aimlessly._

_ Where everf we go, whats important is that we don't separate. _Bethany nods in acknowledgement.

_We can go to Kirkwall. _Leandra suggest. I look at her as if she has lost her better senses while running away.

_Kirkwall, _I ask atonishingly, _are you sure that is wise?_ Before she could even say a word Bethany cut in

_There are alot of Templars in Kirkwall mother._

_ I know that, but we still have family there- and an estate._

_ (sigh) Then we need to get to Gerwin and take ship._

_ IF we survive that long. _Carver adds as we begin our hurried pase to Gerwin.

Again we are attacked by Darkspawn. A orange blur passes my peripheral vision and i turn to see that we are not the only ones fighting to survive. I shout orders at Carver to go help the two warriors that are out-numbered, while Bethany and I dispose of the rest. The small group of Darkspawn are dispatched quickly.

_Stop squirming Wesley, you'll make it worse. _A woman with very orange hair says to the wounded Templar. She helps him up and he immediately starts spewing Chantry garbage at Bethany and I, I step in front of him as he goes near Bethany in a threatening manner.

_Dear they saved us, The Maker understands. _That seemed to have cooled his head some because he backed off rather quickly after.

_I am Aveline Verlin, this is my husband, ser Wesley. We can hate each other when we're safe from the horde._

_ As long as you understand I stand with Bethany, Templar. _I surprise myself at the force and warning behind my words. He nods his understanding.

_For now we move with you, North is cut off, we barely escaped the main body of the horde._

_ Then we're trapped! The Wilds are to the South and no way out!_

_ We have no choice, the Darkspawn have us fenced in. We go South._

Carver didn't seem to like that response very much for I felt someone glaring daggers at me as we started to move again.

~0~

We are finally at the entrance of the Korcari Wilds, when the ground started to shake. A monsterous growl fills the air as the quaking gets stronger. Then we see it, a creature of pure terror and destruction, storms into the clearing and sets it's bloodthirsty eyes on Bethany and Leandra.

_Maker give me strength!_

And time seems to have slowed down then. Bethany casts a fireball spell at the creature trying to protect Leandra. But it didn't even seem to faze the monster. It snatches her up with ease- as if she were a doll. And like a spoiled child, processes to destroy her with every impact to the ground it forces. The bastard throws Bethany like shes nothing; like Bethany's life held no existance, no worth. I felt as if my mind went blank, all I see is scarlet, all I hear is Leandra's worried cry of Bethany's name.

~0~

As I dealt the death blow to the godless bastard, Carver and I run straight for Bethany's lifeless body and Leandra's doubled over, sobbing form.

_Oh Maker no! Please wake up Bethany, please!_

_ I'm sorry, mistress. Your daughter is gone._ Aveline expresses in true sympathy and concern.

_NO! These things will NOT take Bethany!_

_ Bethany gave her life to save us. _I try to plea with her, to stay strong so we all can survive, even if I want to cry just as longly and openly as Leandra.

Thats when I seen how much she truly hated me. Her eyes burned with such malice and loathing- I thought she would burn holes through my skull. Her words like venom, worked its way into my blood and killed off the rest of hope I had for acceptance from anyone.

_I don't want a hero! I want my daughter! How could you just stand there like the cowardly little bitch you are- after everything Malcolm and I have done for you? I knew I should have kicked your arse out to die like the worthless orphan you are! It should have been you that died instead of my Bethany- my little girl!_

Then everything went black, I barely heard what Carver said nor did I register whatever the Templar chanted for Bethany's soulless corpes. I just stared at Bethany- at her blood-covered body, and imagined myself as her. I thought to myself... _How lucky she is to be with Malcolm._ Carver pulls me up as we're surrounded by more Darkspawn, we can't take much more before we're overrun. I welcome the evitable with closed eyes and a open-heart.

Thats when we hear it- a bone chilling roar, the sound of giant wings cutting through the air and the smell of burning flesh poluting it. A creature of legend- a High Dragon, saved us. Then it transformed into a old, wild woman. As she sauntered towards us, I couldn't help but shiver at her immense power... and it made me smile to myself- just a little.

_Well, well. What have we here?_

~0~

Thank you all for reading and sorry for taking so long with this crappy chapter, I couldn't think of anything D:!

But I love you all so much and no flames please!

Also, sorry if I spelled 'Gerwin' wrong. -_-'''


	4. Chapter 4

Dragon Age II: Rosia Hawke's Tale

Kero everyone! I hope this chapter is a bit longer or better or... let me just shush! .'''!

I do not own Dragon Age 2! THE EPIC BIOWARE DOES!

Also, I'm skipping the whole 'oh its flemth!' scene(kill me later .""!)

_'With a donkey on my shoulder, _

_And a jackal on my back,_

_I'll carry these, my children,_

_Keep them safe from attack_

_The donkey makes it hard to dance, the jackal sings too loud_

_The donkey cries when it's alone, and the jackal is too proud_

_Little donkey is getting restless,_

_Getting heavier as it grows_

_And the jackal, spoiled and spiteful,_

_Keeps biting at my nose_

_I would have a lover,_

_A husband, and a child_

_But the donkey is too jealous,_

_And the jackal is too wild_

_It's too wild_

_You ask me why I keep them, _

_Why I love them so,_

_Why they get away with murder, _

_As they grow and grow and grow, oh_

_I keep them cos I made them,_

_They come from in my loins_

_With each mistake I make_

_Creative, and torn apart_

_And when it's time to feed them,_

_Before they go to bed,_

_I give them my confessions,_

_Baked within their bread_

_Little donkey is getting restless,_

_Getting heavier as it grows_

_And the jackal, spoiled and spiteful,_

_Keeps biting at my nose_

_Little donkey is getting restless,_

_Getting heavier as it grows_

_And the jackal, spoiled and spiteful,_

_Keeps biting at my nose'_

_-Florence + The Machine, 'Donkey Kosh'_

_(snicker) Hello little Hawke._

_W-who... Are you? _The creature eyes seemed to twinkle then

_Someone who can grant your deepest desire._

I shot up from my sleep after the Pride Demon tried to lure me with its empty promises of power and respect. I sigh to myself in aggravation and throw the flee ridden rags off my body, making sure not to wake up the others. I head up to the upper deck to feel the sea breezes and mist on my skin, I close my eyes and inhale deeply.

_What are you doing up so late Rosia?_

I jump a little in surprise from Carver's voice, _how did I not sense him?_ I inwardly cringe at my softening senses and reflexes.

_Just having trouble sleeping... What are YOU doing up?_

He shrugs the question off, then looks behind me at the open sea. He walks to the railing and stares blankly over and beyond the gentle waves and ocean, then closes his eyes. I think its the first time I've seen him so peaceful and serene.

_I knew, ya know. _

He breaks the silence first with his confession, shocking me thoroughly,

_When did you-_

_You thought you were the only one that couldn't sleep when father and mother argued?_

He turned to face me then, his eyes so blank and bored yet looking through me, sent a shiver down my spine. I gulp and close off my emotions as he continues to gauge my body language.

_Why didn't you say anything then? Why pretend that I was apart of your family?_

_Because... Its what father would have wanted..._

Carver looked away from me then, his eyes showing anger a moment. My anger seemed to have boiled over then.

_Why didn't you treat me better then? Like a sister or at least a friend? Leandra probably would have-_

I cut my sentence short, _what would have been different if he called me sister? Would Leandra not hate me so much?, _but Carver snapped me back out of my thoughts with his penertrating glare.

_She would have what- acted more like a mother towards you? Accepted you? Don't make me laugh! There was never any room for you in our home Rosia!_

I feel tears threaten to fall but I push them away, _no more tears... No more mercy... No more weakness..._

_You should have told Malcolm that then! _

_How could I- when he obviously perferred you as his child than Bethany or I?_

Carver eyes are flashing now, I see madness behind them. I start to walk back as he edges towards me.

_Who could ever live up you? Perfect Rosia! little princess of Malcolm's world? Who could ever be YOU?_

_D-don't come closer..._

_All he ever talked about was how smart and beautiful you are, how fast you learn. How responsible you are... HOW COULD I ASK FOR HIM TO ACKNOWLEDGE ME?_

My back is against the opposite railing now and his hands on either side, trapping me like a spider does a fly.

_Don't blame me for being everthing he wanted in a child that you could NEVER be._

He raised his hand at me, I turn my head slighly and close my eyes. Waiting for the impact of his hit, but it never came. I open my eyes and face him then. And he laughed a hystrical laugh.

_Oooh Rosia, Rosia. Sweet navie Rosia... He loved you so much more than a father does his child._

He strokes my cheek gently and carefully... Like I would break or vanish.

_He loved you like a man loves a woman... That why mother hates you so, you stole him away from her._

_Tha-thats not true!_

Carver just smiled warmly at me then. I wanted to burn that look from his lying face.

_You're just jealous because he loved more than you..._

_Yes.. I'm very envious of you Rosia... And of father... Good night._

He left me on the upper deck stunned and breathless that night.

~0~

We reached the docks of Kirkwall in what seemed like an eternaty. Leandra barely spoke (Thanks to whoever made that happen.) and Carver avoided me after the night on the deck. I sigh inwardedly at the stress/break of the situation at hand and head towards the loud and angry crowd of Fereldans.

~0~

It had been two days since the guard promised to contact Leandra's brother, Gamlen Amell. Aveline seems a bit on edge, as well as Leandra. Carver seems to be avoiding me even being in my prescenes now, usually with a Fereldan girl. My dreams are always intercepted by demons now; it gets harder to object to their candycoated lies each night since we left Fereldan.

I managed to get us all a loaf of bread; Leandra hasn't eaten since Bethany died. Wanting to keep my promise to Malcolm and take care of his family the best that I can, I go against my better judgement and try to make her eat.

_Leave me alone you whore! _She shrieks at me almost hysterically

_Leandra please don't be unreasonable, you must eat something._

_Go away damn you!_

She huddles into herself, as if I will just disappear. I growl to myself in annoyance.

_Fine I'll just leave the bread here when you want to eat then._

I place the bread by her feet and turn to leave her alone as she so wished.

~0~

A world eerily comforting and haunting at once. The skys a creme like colour with no sun or moon or clouds, leaving the visitor wondering how long they've spent in it. A seemingly never endless bottom, like the sea or sky-again a creme like colour. Abstract objects and landscapes, like a maze of sorts. Terrifying but wondrous- that describes the Fade.

_Hello little Hawke, wondering the Fade again?_

_Leave me alone Pride Demon, I'm not making any deals with you._

_(snicker) You will little Hawke, you sooner rather than later. That I promise you._

I wake, dreanched in my sweat, and stand up calmly. _Another sleepless night it would seem_, I look up to see the full moon, so close I can almost touch it. _I can't keep this up, it was never this bad before._ A headache begins and I groan audibly in pain, _This has to end._

I finally feel the pull of the Fade, and let it take me.

This time in a closed circle, lyrium roots surrounding-towering over the circle. I look for some exit but see that I'm trapped, I wait for the demon to manifest itself.

_Hello again Hawke._

_Demon._

_Please call me... Cain._

_Well "Cain" what do you want this time?_

_For a smart girl that was a very ignorant question. You know what I want._

_You can't have my vessel Demon, end of discussion._

_Then how about we share?_

I cock my brow up at the offer quizzically.

_Share? Are you mad Demon?_

_Think about it, I get out of the Fade and you get more power to protect your family, its a win-win._

I stand there, seriously thinking about the Pride Demon's offer of conjoined ownership of my body. I can feel how heavy my body is with grief and fatigue. I look at the Demon still thinking about it, then I make my choice.

_Fine, we can share Demon._

The Pride Demon makes a disgusting grin and cackles.

_Finally! _

Thats when I start to feel my insides burning, I scream and fall to the realistic ground in pain.

_Did you really think I was going to SHARE with a MERE mortal, weak girl mage? You are a weak fool!_

My throat starts to close, tears fall from my eyes, snot and saliva falling from my nose and mouth all at once. Black spots start to appear everywhere, the sounds of the demon's cackle being overshadowed by the ringing on my ears. When it feels like I'm finally about to pass out, I hear a woman calling my name.

She appears besides me out of nowhere, a light eminenting from her body._ You must fight Oswalda!_

_NO! She is MINE!_

The Spirit stood up and turned to face the Pride Demon, Determination and streath pouring from every ounce of her body.

_You will NOT have her demon, not while I stand between you two._

_It sto late spirit! My power is already consuming her inside and out! Let her go and be free of the pain(cackle)!_

_No... I will not fail her again._

The spirit nealt besides me once again, smiling tenderly down at me in a familiar way. The light eminenting from her covers me like a blanket, all I can feel is warmth and safety, something I've forgotten when my mother died all those years ago.

She closed her eyes and hugged me tightly, a tear falling from her closed eyes.

_It will be alright Oswalda, I'm hear now..._

I can hear the demon cry out in terror and pain, falling to the floor in pain just as I did. I stare at the spirit, her hair long and flowing, reminds me of my mother's hair. Warmth rolls down my cheek as I stare at her. The demon tries to reach for her but fails at the attempt, slumping lifelessly to the ground, screaming ons last pain filled scream.

_He is gone now Oswalda, but his power is still within you as well as mine._

She gracefully stands ups and floats away from me next to the Pride Demon, turning expectantly at me. I stand up unsteadly and look at her.

_Who ... Are you?_

_I am the Spirit of Love and Sacrifice._

_how-why did you save me? I had made the deal with the demon._

_A mother must always protect her child, Oswalda._

Then I'm back the little cottage I was born in, the spirit solidfied. Her hair was long just as I remember, a rosy blond like mine. She was taller than the average woman, her eyes and aquatic blue-green just like mines are. Her lips and cheeks rosy and lashes thick a paint brush. She was my mother.

_Open this door! We have confirmed knowledge of a mage child living here!_

We turn in unison towards the door, but she runs at it and pushes herself up against it, trying to block out the Templars.

_Hide Oswalda, HIDE!_

_Mummy!_

I look to the corner of the room and see a wild girl clutching a ragdoll, weeping in the fetal position. The door is busted open, my mother falling to wooden floor, hitting her head and blacking out.

_There she is, get her!_

I start to scream hysterically as the men pick me up and carries me out of the cottage. The other Templar is holding a torch and throws it on the table, starting the fire that killed my mother.

_Mother..._

_Yes, Oswalda, its mummy._

Her figures starts to fade alittle, a sad smile on her face as see looks lovingly at me. I reach to touch her but my hand goes through her body.

_I'm so sorry that I couldn't protect you my dear Oswalda._

_Its okay mother, as along as you're here now!_

_I must go Oswalda, I put my power into protecting you my dove._

_NO! Take it back! Stay with me mother!_

_i'm sorry again Oswalda, take comfort in that I'll always will be inside you... Good-bye dear..._

_NO!_

then she was gone. I awoke to aee stars covering the midnight blue sky and tears running down my face.

~0~

The morning sun came pouring, making last night seem like a dream. But I can feel it- the power, flowing inside of me.

Aveline looks like she is about to start a fight, pacing like a lion stalking prey.

_Its been three days. This waiting has to end!_

_It will take as long as needed Aveline. Better than Fereldan. _

Caver and Aveline looked ready for a fight, their eyes blazing and set on each other. I was about to let them settle the dispute, when a rather old fellow walked out towards us, _must be Gamlen._

_Would you two shut up? Someone is coming._

~0~

I don't really like this chapter, I really know where I was going with it but It came out ok I guess :/. I'm sorry if it absolute crap!

Please review and no flames please.

Right and Oswalda means 'God Power', I thought it fitting since she has a demon and spirits essence inside her now :). Her name will still be Rosia of course aaaannnnnd thats it, good day/night everyone, I LOVE YOU ALL!


	5. Chapter 5

Dragon Age II: Rosia Hawke's Tale

**Kero everyone, sorry I've neglected this story for so long, but I plan on getting back on the horse. And sorry for any grammatical errors in the fanfic, 'tisn't my strongest suit hehheh...**

**I do NOT own Dragon Age 2, the lovely Bioware does :).**

'I've been looking so long at these pictures of you

That I almost believe that they're real

I've been living so long with my pictures of you

That I almost believe that the pictures are

All I can feel

Remembering

You standing quiet in the rain

As I ran to your heart to be near

And we kissed as the sky fell in

Holding you close

How I always held close in your fear

Remembering

You running soft through the night

You were bigger and brighter and whiter than snow

And screamed at the make-believe

Screamed at the sky

And you finally found all your courage

To let it all go

Remembering

You fallen into my arms

Crying for the death of your heart

You were stone white

So delicate

Lost in the cold

You were always so lost in the dark

Remembering

You how you used to be

Slow drowned

You were angels

So much more than everything

Hold for the last time then slip away quietly

Open my eyes

But I never see anything

If only I'd thought of the right words

I could have held on to your heart

If only I'd thought of the right words

I wouldn't be breaking apart

All my pictures of you

Looking so long at these pictures of you

But I never hold on to your heart

Looking so long for the words to be true

But always just breaking apart

My pictures of you

There was nothing in the world

That I ever wanted more

Than to feel you deep in my heart

There was nothing in the world

That I ever wanted more

Than to never feel the breaking apart

All my pictures of you'

-The Cure, Pictures of You

_Hawke, when are you returning to your family's house? New Guardsmen are being put into the barracks and we need the room for them._

_Aveline they don't want me there as much as Dwarves want to live on the surface, and I agree with them whole-heartedly._

She grunts in frustration and walks away, mumbling some nonsense. I rack my fingers through my hair, pushing myself up from the bunk I was given and strap my staff to my back.

It doesn't seem real; already a year has passed by since settling in Kirkwall. A whole year since Bethany's death...

We were able to enter the city with Athenrial's assistance, owing her a debt in the process of course. I decided staying with Leandra and Carver would only make matters worse for us than needed, forcing me to hideout in the slums until Aveline found and forced me to with her in the city guards barracks.

_Aveline, I'm going to meet up with Carver now, are you coming?_ I ask on my way out of our bunks

Can't, it is my shift in Lowtown today. She says while looking intently at the shifts board, a slight frown on her brow

Alright, later. I say leaving the Guardsmen barracks.

As I'm leaving the Viscount's Keep, I spot Carver waiting for me down the stairs.

Well, look who finally decides to grace us with her presence. He tauntingly says as I walk down the stairs, making me look down at him and sneer.

Shut it Carver; let's just get this over with so I won't have to look at your mug all bloody day. Shoving past him, I keep my eyes staring ahead; determination for the upcoming battle.

No! Bartrand shouts out frustrated, Carver and I following close behind as we continue to beg the ruthless dwarf to accompany him in his expedition.

Andraste's tits, human! You know how many people want to hire onto this expedition? He rhetorically asks, mumbling agitatedly to himself. Carver and I share a look before he tries to convince him again (and by convince, I mean yell at him then me.)

_Saying something! We're running from your bloody Templars!_ Shouts Carver, I glare daggers at him.

_Shut up Carver. Bertrand, think about it, we HAVE fought darkspawn and lived. That must tell you something._

_You're looking for a way out of the slums right, you and every other Fereldan in this dump. Find yourself another meal ticket!_ He grumbles at me before stomping off.

I growl inwardly, _Bertrand is going to force my hand_, I think to myself as Carver glares at me.

_Too many refuges disappear for you to threaten people that can help us!_ I shout at him, people whipping their heads around to look at sparse. Shaking my head in disgust I turn and walk away, clearly too angry to dodge a rather poor looking man running into me.

_Uphm! Watch it you arsehole! _I nearly shriek. I quickly check my pockets for the little coin I have, my eyes widening in realization of its theft. I whirl to where the man was running to, my brow furrowed and body ready to take flight when I see him slam into the wall on his left side, an arrow embedded in his right shoulder.

A rather gaudily dress dwarf casually walks up to him, his lips moving before punching the theft and pulling out what I assume to be his arrow bolt. Said dwarf then turns to Carver and I, a smug smirk on his beardless face as he walks up to us.

_How do you do? Varric Tethras, at your service._ Varric states before being asked, making me inadvertently chuckle.

_Hawke_, I simple say with a small smile.

_I apologize for Bartrand, he wouldn't know an opportunity if it hit him square in the jaw._

_But you would? _I ask suspiciously, a smile still playing on my face.

_I would! What my brother doesn't realize is that we need someone like you. _Varric states, _He would never admit it to(scoff), he's too proud. But me, I am quite practical._

_Well your stubborn brother won't hire us, so how- _He counts me off with a raised hand, smile on his face.

_We don't need another hireling, we need a partner._ He says, continuing after a moment of pause _Truth is, Bartrand has been tearing his beard out trying to fund this on his own, but he can't do it. Invest in the expedition, fifty sovereign and he can't refuse, not with me there to vouch for you. _Varric ends, looking at me calmly, with little expectation in a right-away reply.

_You must think I'm royally stupid. _I say edgily, my eyes narrowed and lips pulled back in a scowl.

_I DON'T know what to think of you, but I think you want what I want, gold and a better life. _He tells me confidently. I stare at Varric for a moment before a smile spreads across my face. Thrusting my hand forward, we seal our partnership with a silent handshake.

~0~

_So… What are we doing here again, Hawke? _Varric asks as we walk towards a Dalish encampment. I look back at him with a slight smirk, _helping a High Dragon._

_Hold Shemlen, yer kind are not welcomed among the Dalish. _A Dalish man tells me, clear disgust in his voice and on his face.

_I've been told to speak to your KEEPER, so MOVE, _I bite back, a jolt of surprise to his haughty figure. He goes to reach for his sword when his companion grabs his wrist, shaking her head.

_This is the one the Keeper spoke of, _the female Dalish announces, staring at me with unblinking eyes.

_Truly, I thought she'd be an elf! _The Dalish male whispers to her, his eyes wide with shock.

_Enter the camp, Keeper Marethari has been waiting for you_, the Dalish female says cheerfully without a smile.

_Cause trouble, and yer meet our blades, stranger._ The male Dalish tells me. I laugh walking past him.

Looking around the encampment, I spot a lone elf by the fire. White-haired, and with a staff at her back, She stares wistfully into the flames. _Looks like that's her, _I think to myself as I usher Carver and Varric after me.

_Marethari, I was told to bring you this amulet, _I say whilst giving her said amulet. She stares at it a moment, seeming to inspect it before looking up at me with a small smile on her face.

_Andaran atish'an outsider, indeed I am Keeper Marethari; let me look at you._ She says, ushering me closer, _there is truth in your face, a rare thing in a human. Tell me how this burden fell to you, child. _Marethari passively commands, a expectant look on her elven face.

_That is none of your business, _I tell her. She nods her head in agreement, getting the message.

_Thank you for bring this to me, but I'm afraid your business with this is not yet complete,_ Marethari sweeps her hand back fluidly, as if cutting through water. Gesturing toward the mountain path, she turns to look at me again; _the amulet must be taken to the top of the mountain and given a Dalish Right for the Departed, then, return the amulet to me._ She informs me, _do this, and your debt is repaid._

_Are you going to tell me this Right? _I ask drily, irritable that there is more to this errand.

_I will send with you my First, _Continuing, _She will see to it the ritual is done and when it is complete… I must ask that you take her with you, _she says uncertainly.

I laugh moment in her face, _Take her with me? _I say questioningly, _Why? _Igrowl, growing serious just as fast.

_I cannot answer for her I'm afraid, you must ask her; _Marethari says mysteriously, _you will find Merrill waiting for you on the trail just up the mountain… Dareth shiral._

Nodding my head in farewell, Varric, carver and I set off towards the mountain path. Walking a little ways up, I spot a green and black figure crouching on the ground. Walking closer, it stands, turning towards us. It is an elven woman, looks to be younger than me but you never really know with elves. Eyes wide in wonder and innocence, we meet in between, a smile on her sharp face. A tightening in my chest starts as she smiles at me; remembrance in that smile, of times spent in the sun, times of long ago. I barely notice Varric's shifting glances between me and the eleven woman, a question in his eyes at our- no, my-strange exchange with her. I am snapped out of my inner thoughts when the elven woman clears her throat audibly.

_-I'm Merrill- which you probably knew already… I'm rambling… Sorry, _Is all I hear before fully listening in.

_Ah, no… It's fine… I'm Hawke and-, _I'm cut off by Varric then, _we already introduced ourselves. _I nod my understanding, a feeling that I have long since forgotten creeping up my cheeks. Clearing my throat awkwardly, I look at Merrill again, a tiny smile on my lips.

_Glad to make your acquaintance Merrill, _I say.

_Thank you! _She cries in relief, continuing on hesitantly, _I'm afraid not I'm very experienced with your kind; The Keeper said you came from Fereldan… I spent most of my life there… We only came North a few years ago; have you been in the Free Marches long? Do you like it here? _Merrill nervously questions. A warm smile spreads across my face after so long… I barely notice I am smiling.

_Yes, a year now actually. I rather miss the smell of dogs. _I admit casually, a laugh erupting from Merrill's small mouth.

_We should go, the task is for Asha'belannar… It's not wise to make her wait. _Merrill says through laughter, stepping to the side to let us pass. _She's waited for a year, she can longer. _I think to myself as we trudge up the mountain path. Sensing dark magick shortly after, I halt my group with a lift of my hand. Then the sounds of grinding dirt are heard all around us, getting louder and louder with each passing second.

A knife shouts up from the ground, then another, then another and so on until we see skeletal fingers gripping the handles of each weapon. Readying a Firestorm spell, I draw the others closer into me, creating a circle. Moments later, we watch as skeletons climb out of the ground, scampering to us with weapon raised high. _Well… This is going to be tedious._ I think to myself before releasing my destructive energy.

~0~

_Marethari never mentioned you having magick, _I say as she puts her staff on her back.

_All Keepers know a bit of old magick, _Merrill tells us in a sing-song tone;_ the stories tell us that all Elvan had The Gift, but like so many things… It was lost. _She says sadly, pain in her eyes, and a bit of… Regret. _It is a Keeper's job to remember- to restore what we can. _Fierceness in her tone saying this was not up for argument or acknowledgment; more of a chant than anything.

_Well thank you for helping out back there, _I awkwardly say, folding my arms across my chest and fidgeting anxiously.

_Oh! Yo-you're welcome! I wasn't sure I'd be much good, _Merrill mumbles to herself embarrassedly_, I've done a little fighting before, but it was always… Alone, _she says quietly before changing the decisionabruptly_, I try not to hit anyone! On our side I mean- I'm babbling again, let's go._

~0~

_So the Keeper finally found someone to take you from here, _A Dalish male spits outs at Merrill, his voice full of distain and disgust. A familiar sense of foreboding settles over me. Checking myself into attention, I refuse to give Leandra the satisfaction of self-pity from my person. I fix the man with an icy glare as Merrill sticks up for herself, her voice trembling with anger and sadness.

_-Then finish your task quickly, human. We cannot be rid of this one to soon. _The man says before shoving past Merrill.

_I have made my choice, and I WILL save our clan whatever YOU think. _Merrill boldly says at the man's back. Walking further up the path, we reach the entrance of a cave. Merrill walks past it in suppressed anger, looking up at the cloudy skies.

_I'm sorry; you're not really seeing the Dalish at their best. _She breathes in a sad sigh, _we're good people that look out for each other; just not today… apparently. _Merrill turns to look at us; I can see near tears in those large eyes; so much sadness, too much for such a kind soul like hers. I nod my understanding before she heads to the cave.

~0~

We move closer to some barrier, Merrill walks up beside me, a determined look on her face.

_I can open the way forward, _she says before moving in front the barrier, a moment later, a knife is in her hand slicing into her palm, red blood spilling out. Then it rises like water when someone jumps into it; thrusting her hands out in front of her, the bloody charges toward the barrier, then a blinding light explodes in front of us.

_Bloody magick,_ I breathe out in shock.

_Yes it was Blood Magick, but I know what I'm doing; the spirit helped us didn't it? _Merrill quickly goes to defending herself, squeaking out the last lines in more of a self-reassurance. I smile at her, patting her should before walking into the once blocked off area.

_You did well, Merrill. _I assure her

_Th-thank you, Hawke… _She sputters out in confusion and relief.

~0~

_hahren na melana sahlin_

_emma ir abelas_

_souver'inan isala hamin_

_vhenan him dor'felas_

_in uthenera na revas_

A flash of light flows from the amulet, wind gushing around the alter revealing Flemeth.

_Aaaaahh, and __**here**__ we are_, Flemeth sighs in her rhythmic tone

_Andaran atish'an Asha'belannar, _Merrill says whilst bowing to her. Flemeth studies her for a moment, a small smile on her face

_One of the people, I see… so young and bright. Do you know who I am beyond that title? _

_I know only a little… _Merrill tell her honestly

_Then stand, the people bend their knee too quickly. _Flemeth tells her, turning to stare at me for a moment.

_So refreshing, too see someone who keeps their end of a bargain. I half expect my amulet to end up in a merchant's pocket. _She says jokingly. I shrug my shoulders indifferently, staring her in the eyes with defiance.

_I don't like be lied too, _I tell her calmly. Smirking at me, she walks forwards.

_Did I trick you? I asked you to bring the amulet and you did. _She turns away from me then, looking off into the valleys and mountains.

_Before I go, a word of advice… We stand upon the precipice of change. The world fears the inevitable plummet into the abyss. Watch for that moment... and when it comes, do not hesitate to leap. It is only when you fall that you learn whether you can fly._

_Stop speaking in riddles_, I nearly shout at her, she looks at me again, her face showing no emotion, but looking deep into her eyes did I see… disappointment.

_You're welcome._ Flemeth says in a deadpan way,_ as for you, child, step carefully, no path is darker than when your eyes are shut._

_Ma serannas Asha'belannar_

_Now the time has come for me to leave, you have my thanks, and my sympathies. _Flemeth says to me with a nod farewell, walking to the alter, and transforming into the High Dragon that saved my companions and I once before.

~0~

_Ma serannas, child; your debt is paid in full. _Marethari thanks me, turning to Merrill quickly afterwards, _It isn't too late to change your mind, da'len. _Merrill barely hesitates before shaking Marethari's hand, _dareth shiral, Keeper._ Merrill tells her, turning to me so we can leave.

Looking beside me at Merrill, I couldn't help but feel a weight being carefully lifted off my shoulders.

~0~

_Aveline_

_Hello, Hawke_

_Good to see I was missed_, I say tersely, sniffing in indignation. Aveline turns around, seemingly from a daze brought on by the Duty Roster.

_I've been keeping an eye on you,_ Aveline tells me as she walks from the roster to lean on a wall, _information is one of the few perks of this job; watch out for Bartrand, he's a sonovabitch._

_Glad to hear I'm not the only to think so, _Varric and Carver pipe in. Dismissing them all, I glare at Aveline, _You know I don't like it when you have people watch me_

_It saved me camping on your door step,_ Aveline stops for a moment, ducking her head before continuing on with a slight tremble in her voice,_ After what we went through to get here, I… well, you're no child; I take care of my friends. _She tells me with a tight smile, _the places they got me patrolling, I've got time- actually, I may have a job for you, let me know if you want to do a favour for Kirkwall otherwise, I'm here if you need me._

_Does it pay? _I ask in monotone, a sigh and rolling of eyes answering my question, _yes, Hawke, it pays-_

_Good, so what is it?_ I ask as Aveline furrows her brow in annoyance, I smirk as she sighs again.

~0~

_HOW DARE YOU, I AM __**GUARD CAPTAIN**__! _The grey haired man screams as he is dragged away from his once office, _FERELDAN __**BITCH**__, THIS WAS NONE OF YOUR AFAIR! I'LL SEE YOU HANGED, QUARTERED- THIS WILL __**NOT**__ STAND! _He yells, Aveline just smiling away as she witnesses her so called "justice."

_We found a number of debts to… suspect peoples; such poor character. _Says a man named Seneschal Bran, messenger boy to the Viscount, _but you, Aveline Vallen, have proven your loyalty and ability._

_ The Guard deserves someone better than him, messier_

_Indeed, the Viscount would put your care for the men into direct practice; you will assume the captain's job_

_Whaat? _Aveline gasps out; her eyes wide with surprise.

_In due time of course, there will be training, approvals; months at least. Bus who better to rebuild respect than the woman who exposed this… embarrassment. Resolve any outstanding business guard woman, you will be very busy._

~0~

_So… the last few days was very eventful don't you think? _Carver asks me as we walk in Lowtown, I look at him with an arched eyebrow, turning my head back after a brief look, _Meeting Varric and Merrill, Aveline becoming Guard captain… I wonder what's going to happen next._

_Wonder all you like, just make sure to be ready when I call for you, _I tell him as we walk up the stairs to Gamlen's hovel. _You know, Rosia, I've been speaking to mother about you being able to stay here, and-_

_Don't even go there, Carver; you know how much I hate that miserable cow you call mother, don't ask more of me. _I tell Carver through clenched teeth. Getting the message, he turns to open the door, ushering me in. I look around as Leandra comes over to hug Caver tightly, stroking either sides of his face to make sure he is real. I spot Gamlen across the room, looking the little domestic scene with disgust and a hint of envy. I nod a hello his way, receiving one in return. _Carver, go bath, and go to sleep early, we have a meeting with Varric tomorrow. _I inform him before walking towards the door, only to be stopped by Leandra.

_Rosia… why don't you stay for dinner tonight? _Leandra asks, fear in her voice, fear of rejection. I stare at her a moment, gauging her now older features. Smirking, I rip my arm out of her grasp and walk towards the door,

_Not even on Bethany's life_

I say back to her, her knees giving out at my cruel statement. Carver rushes to her aid, Gamlen smirking at Leandra's distress. Walking out into the smoke filled air of Kirkwall, I breathe it in deeply before laughing in near hysterics, walking to my lone bunk in the barracks.

~0~

**_Maker that took for bloody ever! Thank you all for read this update, and sorry again for it being so sodding late. Every chapter that I'm going to combine character missions are going to take longer to write, so the next few are going to take some time. Also, please, PLEASE review; give feedback and things I should improve on. Thank you very much, sweeties ;3!_**


	6. Chapter 6

Dragon Age II: Rosia Hawke's Tale

**Sorry again for just get back on to this story.**

**I DO NOT own Dragon Age or its' characters, Bioware does.**

_Oh it's opening time down on Fascination Street_

_So let's cut the conversation and get out for a bit_

_Because I feel it all fading and paling and I'm begging_

_To drag you down with me to kick the last nail in_

_Yeah, I like you in that like I like you to scream_

_But if you open your mouth then I can't be responsible_

_For quite what goes in or to care what comes out_

_So just pull on your hair, just pull on your pout_

_And let's move to the beat like we know that it's over_

_If you slip going under, slip over my shoulder_

_So just pull on your face, just pull on your feet_

_And let's hit opening time, down on Fascination Street_

_So pull on your hair, pull on your pout_

_Cut the conversation, just open your mouth_

_Pull on your face, pull on your feet_

_And let's hit opening time down on Fascination Street_

_Down on Fascination Street_

_Down on Fascination Street_

_Down on Fascination Street_

_On Fascination Street_

_- The Cure, 'Fascination Street'_

Waking up early, I head off to meet Carver so we can have the meeting with Varric at the Hanged Man. Walking along the crack filled streets of Lowtown, I stumble upon Merrill's fretting form.

_Good morning Merrill._ I announce. She does this pivoting jump to see who called her name, her body tense and ready for battle. Realizing that it was me calling her out, she quickly relaxes and smiles her bright smile at me.

_Oh! Hello Hawke! You startled me._ Merrill admits as I walk to her, I smile softly as she continues her nonsensical rambling.

_Oh! I'm sorry, I was rambling again._ She deflates, a worried expression on her face. _So much fear of not_ _being accepted_, I think to myself, _I understand how she feels_. I drape an arm across her shoulder, pulling her closer to me as we walk in the direction of her home. _What are you doing out here to so early in the morning, Merrill? I ask in a sing-song kind of way, 'Tis dangerous._

_I was leaving the Hanged Man when I lost my way_, she says a bit muffled, wrapping an arm around my waist so we wouldn't be constantly bumping each other, _there's so many corners here!_

I laugh heartily at her refreshing honesty.

Since I've met Merrill, it feels as though a younger Bethany is with me again. It is the only luxury that I can allow myself for now. Walking down the stone steps, I lead Merrill to her new home, smiling faintly as she ramble an apology while thanking me. Nodding my head, I turn away, steeling myself for Carver's on coming hissy fit, when I feel something tugging on my shirt. Turning to see what it was, I see Merrill clutching my shirt, concern written on her face.

_What's wrong, Merrill?_

_Hawke, just... if you need someone to talk too, I'm here always- well most of the time, if I'm not wandering around the city of course._

I stare at Merrill as she rambles on a bit more before apologizing again, raising my hand to silence her, I walk back in front of her, hugging her tightly. She is at first surprised, recovering from the shock of my sudden hug, hugs me back gently, as though I may break. We stay like this for a moment; I break the comforting hold on her, turning and walking away.

_Thank you, Merrill_, I say from over my shoulder, speed walking away before I actually do break.

Banging on the door, I wait for Gamlen or someone to answer it. I stop as I hear stooping coming towards the door, upon it opening, I see Carver in a disheveled state, clearly just waking up. Groaning to myself I push past him inviting myself into the shack.

_I told you to be ready when I came, Carver_, I start through clenched teeth; he turns to look at me after closing the door. Continuing on_, and what do I see now? You're clearly .UP!_ I punctuate with a stoop of my foot on the rotting floor boards.

_Did have to console a nearly hysterical woman until she fell asleep in tears still? If so than continue on with your ranting_

_Not my problem that you can't take care of yourself, now is it?_ I scoff whilst pacing the floor. I stop look at him for a moment, wondering why he isn't moving to get dressed yet. _Well? Are you going to get_ _ready?_ I say more of a commanding way than questioning. Shaking his head, Carver pushes himself off the table he was leaning on, crossing the room to stand a few meters from me.

_I'm not going this time. Mother is distraught over that comment last night... I must watch her._ Carver goes to explain, his eyes narrowing as he says "comment"

_Just leave her; she's too much of a coward to hurt anyone, much less herself._

_I'm not going this time, Rosia_. Carver says in finality, walking past me to sit down in front of the chimney. I stand there for a minute or so, just looking at him in disgust of his sentimentality, if he really wanted to help her, he'd come with me so we could hurry up with Varric's plan, I think to myself irritably. Shaking my head, I walk out of the door, leaving Carver alone to stare at the flame-less fire place.

~0~

_Hello, Hawke_

_Varric_, I say in greeting, flopping down into one of his fancy chair with a sigh. Looking up from his work, Varric looks at me in question.

_Where's junior?_

_Playing son to his mother_. I tell him indifferently, adjusting my position. Nodding his head, Varric puts down the papers he was holding, and walks around the stone table.

_Shall we begin?_

_Go on_.

_Alright- So as you know, we are heading for the Deep Roads in search of old Thaig treasure. We are ready for the voyage..._

_But?_

_We don't have a map_, Varric flatly states. About to get up and hurt something, Varric raises his hand in halt. Growling I lower myself into the chair once more, waiting for him to continue.

_I have been talking with my contacts about this, they know of someone who is just what we need_.

_Who knows the Deep Roads? A dwarf_?

_Almost as good_, Varric breathes, a slow smile lifting his face, _a Grey Warden_.

I widen my eyes in shock for a moment before remembering what Flemeth said, _"-Not all, but the last are beyond your reach."_

_Where do we find him?_

_He came in with some Fereldan Refugees, so we start there. There is a store a few steps back where we can ask around._

_I'm down for whatever_, I yawn in boredom, the novelty of a Warden here wearing off.

~0~

Taking down the last fool, I strap my staff on my back securely, walking towards Varric.

_Well, that was fun_. He says sarcastically. We head off to the Hanged Man, waiting for night to come.

Walking down the nearly rotten through stairs, we enter Darktown, the smell of death and decay filling the air. Spotting a lone lantern lit on the wall, I start to search for another, following the trail of bread crumbs. Varric and I stop at the end of the trail, two doors separating us from our treasure. I open the door slowly, turning to look at Varric. Seeing that he was prepared for a battle, we share a nod before I turn back to the barely open door, taking a breath, and throw it open. Spell ready and waiting, I jump to the side in case of arrows, but nothing came. Peeking into the room, I spot a man in feathery clothes healing a child on a cotted table, two adult I assume are the child's parents watching fretfully. We walk into the large room, waiting until the man was finished with his work too talk. The parents leaving happily with a healthy child in tow, the man turns away from us, leaning on a table. Then, a strange feeling filled the air; one of magick but not the same as mortal man yet the same. The apostate pivots towards us, his staff in hand and spell ready.

_Who are you people?! Why have you come too my clinic with weapons drawn?!_ The man shouts, a Fereldan accent confirming the rumors.

_Put down your weapon, Warden, we've come to talk_. Varric says soothingly, he raises his hands in playful surrender. The man looks at me then, gauging my fighting style. I glare at him, anger rising as he looks me in the eye, seeming to look into my very soul.

_Tell your, mage friend to put her weapon down then dwarf_.

_Hawke..._

Sighing in defeat, I sheath my staff, glower at the man. He nods his head in thanks, relaxing his stance and grimly looks at us.

_What do you want?_

_Why, your Warden expertise of course. We are looking for a way into the Deep Road for our expedition._

The "Warden" begins to shake his head.

_I'm not joining you scavengers into the Deep Roads; I've had enough of them for a life time._

_We never asked you to come_. I say in a curt tone, folding my arms across my chest. The man glares at me for a moment; giving him the bird, he hisses and turns to Varric once more. I smirk in that small victory.

_As my ever so friendly companion put it, we only need maps of the entrances. We would be indebted to you of course._

_Varr-!_ Cutting me off, Varric continues on.

_Warden, you said you've had enough of the Deep Roads so why just give the maps to us and we will be on our way._

_And if I were to refuse?_

_Come now, don't be unreasonable, Warden. What would you like? Money? Contacts?_

_Freedom, something you can't give me, dwarf._

I stand by and watch the conversation in annoyance, the Warden pissing me off with his self-righteous attitude.

_Varric come on, we'll find our own way into the Deep Roads._ I tell him, glaring at the mage Warden.

_Wait!_ We hear turning to see the man's lips thinned with determination.

_What?_ I ask aggressively, walking up to him.

_We make a deal_, he starts, _you help me, and I help you. A even trade._

_What is it you want?_

_I have a friend in the Circle, I wish to free him. _

_How have you two been communicating? I doubt the Templars would allow a mage to have contact outside of the Circle._

_I have an ally that sends messages back and forth between us_.

_And you trust tis ally?_

_With. my. life._

I stare at the Warden, determining if this is worth the trouble, then I remember why we're here now. I grunt, turning away to Varric.

_What do you think?_

_Seriously? That it's a trap and we shouldn't help him. But we need those maps so we don't really have a choice._

_We could kick his arse and take them_. Varric fixes me with an exasperated looked, shrugging my shoulders and turning back to the Warden.

_Deal_. I announce. The warden relaxes, letting out a silent sigh of relief. He straightens a moment later, sliding his hand out to seal the agreement. I glare at him in the eyes, getting the message; he retracts his hand and nods.

_I am Anders since you didn't ask, what are your names then?_

_Varric Tethras_

_Rosia,_ I say with an eye roll, looking at my nails in boredom. Hearing a snort, I look up at Anders, a sarcastic smile on his face.

_You don't look like a 'Rosia'_

_And you don't look like a prick, but looks are deceiving now aren't they? _I say with a sarcastic smile of my own, turning heel and walking out of the hovel.

~0~

We storm back into Anders' hiding pace after him, questions in the air around us.

_What the hell was that?! _Carver shouts at him; I roll my eyes at his simplicity to the obvious

_He's abomination Carver, not that hard to figure out. _I say monotonously, walking forward to speak to Anders.

_It… is hard to explain. I met a spirit, a spirit of Justice in Amaranthine whilst with the Wardens. He was possessed a warden that died, helping us defect the old evil of Black Swamp. The Commander thought it would be a good idea to use him still, so he joined us. _

_Let me guess, you felt sorry for him so you let him take your body as well_

_No… we were friends. And he recognized the injustice that mages face every day in Thedas. We were going to bring justice to every child ever ripped away from their mother to be sent to the Circle._

I stiffen at his last words, memories running through my mind; memories of my mother and how I killed her just by being born.

_But… I guess I had too much anger. Once he was inside, he… changed._

_Every girl in Thedas said, snorts _Varric. I close my eyes in pain; thoughts I thought I kept in check released with just a few words. Anger gripping the back of my neck, growling in annoyance at an unfamiliar feeling taking hold, I glare at Carver and Varric to shut up.

_I don't care about your stupid decisions of the past; all I want is the maps. We completed our part of the deal, now complete yours. _I spit at Anders, a shocked intake of breath coming from Anders, Carver, and even Varric.

_Here, _Anders growls, _these are the maps of this area; I'll be here if one of you needs me. _Clearly not including me in his offer, I stride out of the clinic/hovel, shortly hearing footsteps running towards me.

_You okay, Hawke? _Varric asks actual concern in his voice. Carver snorts at that, _when is she ever?_

_I need a drink_, I grumble to them, rushing towards the Hanged Man.

~0~

Walking in, I jolt back a bit when a leather clad man is thrown in front of me. Starring the groaning man for a moment, I walk over him towards the bar, not paying attention to the bar fight ensuing. Then, amidst then chaos, everything stops, stifled like overflowing water. Turning to watch a scantily clad woman holding a dagger to another leather clad man, I take her bottle of poison and down without a cup.

_Is this worth dying for, Lucky?_ The woman asks; a playful smirk on her face but behind it, a chilling seriousness. _Not so lucky, it would seem_, I think to myself with a chuckle, ushering the barman for another of what the woman had. As he hands me my drink, I turn to see the man gulp then runs away. The woman chuckles, leaning back into the bar ledge, reaching for her bottle but touching empty space, whips her head around to glare at the barman. Beginning the coward he was, he pointed at me; rolling my eyes, I finish the rest of my drink before facing the dark-skinned woman.

_So you took my drink?_

_How would you know if I did or didn't? You were too busy fighting to notice anything other than that._

_I know how to save my swill, sweetheart._

_Good for you, slut, _I casually say, gesturing for Varric and Carver to follow me into the back rooms. Getting up from the bar, I start to head for Varric's room when I feel a hand on my shoulder.

_You owe me a drink._

_And if I say 'fuck off'_, I question as I spin around to push her back to the far wall, a loud 'thump' resounding throughout the bar. People clatter out of their seats to escape my well known wrath, piling out of the bar door in a somewhat silent panick. Walking over to the woman, trying to pick herself up, I place my foot on her head, pushing her back down; blood spilling from the corner of her mouth as she growls at me.

_I could cave your head in like a pumpkin; boil the blood in your veins and watch you die slowly in torment-; _I begin to say before she catches my ankle and pulls me off balance, making me topple to the floor. Hitting my head hard, I groan in pain, the feeling of cold steel against my neck making me freeze. I open my eyes to see the woman straddling my stomach, putting her full weight into it as to keep me pined.

_I could slit your throat, but since I'm such a saint-, _I snort at her comment, making the blade go deeper against my skin, _- Since I'm such a saint, I'll let you keep your life… for a price._

_Let me guess, you want a favour? _I mockingly say, rolling my eyes.

_Yes, actually. You're just what I'm look for._

_And what are you looking for?_

_Oh many things: sex; money; a ship- but not this time… at the moment anyways. Someone from my past has been pestering me; I've arranged for a duel, but I don't trust him to play fair so I need someone to watch my back. So will you do it?_

_Like I have much choice, _I grumble before nodding my head in agreement. I satisfied smile spreads across her bloodied lips as she stands up and offers a hand to help me up. I grimace and slap her hand away, pulling myself up.

_Let's go then, _I announce as we walk towards the door, spotting Varric and Carver outside waiting for my bloody covered form to emerge from the Hanged Man. Though surprised by how the woman called 'Isabela' is still alive, they were up for helping her.

Finally arriving at the Chantry, I drink a health poultice and heal my head wound. I turn to look at Varric and Carver; they both nod their heads in silent understanding. Then I turn to look at Isabela, a playful smirk on her voluptuous lips and a seductive wink sent toward us all, we head inside.

~0~

_Well, that was invigorating! _Varric say lightly, rubbing down Bianca in a soothing manner. I pick off a piece of someone as I rummage through the corpses for loot. A tap on my shoulder brings my attention to Isabela, her signature smirk on her lips.

_Thanks for your help their Hawke, doubt even I wouldn't make it out of that alive._

_Of course you wouldn't fool, your fighting style leaves you open to flank attacks_, I sniff in annoyance.

_You know, if you weren't such a bitch, I might like you_

_Good thing I am one then,_ I retort with a smirk. Then she was in my face, her hands covering either side as she consumed my lips with hers; tongue, spit and blood mixing between us. Surprisingly, I return the kiss in force, pulling her closer to me. I push her way after a moment of sloppy kissing, wiping my mouth in disgust.

_What the hell, Isabela!_

_That's my full thank you for helping me, if you want to make another bargain, I'll be at the Hanged Man._ She purrs as she saunters out of the Chantry. Varric walks up beside me, a smirk playing at his lips; I turn to glare down at him to shut up before leading us out of the Chantry before people came. Now that's a thought, the Revered Mother gaping like a fish out of water at the remains of unidentifiable bodies spread across her floors.

~0~

_**Thanks to everyone reading still! I know I take forever to update, sorry again for that!**_

_**Also, Rosia won't be romancing Isabela, but Fenris (love a good hate/love filled pairing)**_

_**The next chapter will be the introduction to Fenris**_

_**Also, Rosia has become rather self-destructive so there will be plenty of drug use, and unprotected sex in this fanfic (this is just fair warning for later chapters, I'll always warn everyone for such chapters when they are coming up.)**_

_**Aaaaand I think that's it for now. Night you beautiful people!**_

_**Please review, they give me motivation ^^!**_


	7. Chapter 7

Dragon Age 2: Rosia Hawke's Tale

Holy crap! Thank you all so, SO much for the favourites, follows, and reviews! I'm glad to know that I'm doing a good job on the story!

Also, sorry for not clarifying this but the pairing is not Hawke/Carver.

I do not own Dragon Age, Bioware does

_'You and me are the world, she said_

_Nothing else is real_

_The two of us is all there is_

_The rest is just a dream_

_Always meant to be, I can feel it_

_Like a destiny thing written in the stars_

_Inescapable fate, yeah, it's out of my hands_

_Falling into your arms_

_And I don't want to get innocent_

_But I would love you to take my time_

_We're on the edge of a beautiful thing, she said_

_Come on, let's stay here for awhile_

_Ooh girl, he is the one for sure_

_Ooh girl, he is the perfect boy_

_Yeah, me and you are a world, he said_

_But not the only one I need_

_The two of us is never all there is_

_That doesn't happen for real_

_If it was meant to be us, it was meant to be now_

_Don't see the sense in wasting time_

_If you're so sure about this_

_(Long kismet hearty thing)_

_You know tonight you're mine_

_And I don't want to get obvious_

_But I have to be gone by three_

_We're on the edge of a beautiful thing, he said_

_So come on, jump with me_

_Ooh girl, he's not the one for sure_

_Ooh girl, he's not so wonderful_

_Ooh girl, he's not the one for sure_

_Ooh girl, he's not the perfect boy at all_

_You and me are the world, she said_

_Nothing else is real_

_The two of us is all there is_

_The rest is just a dream_

_And her heart may be broken a hundred times_

_But the hurt will never destroy_

_Her hope, the happy ever after girl_

_One day finds the perfect boy.'_

_-'The Perfect Boy', The Cure_

_Escaping magick, only to seek it's aid. Will there ever be an end to it, or perhaps it is what the Maker wishes of me now, either way I do not like this. _I think to myself as I watch the woman known as "Hawke" round a corner.

~0~

I run down the stairs into the barracks and nearly knock down a recruit, achievement making me careless. Finally reaching my bunk, I reach under it and grab the rest of the coin for Bartrand's expedition, recounting it to make sure I have everything needed to make this past month worthwhile. I quickly head back out to meet with Varric so we can finally get to the Deep Roads, walking right into a street urchin.

_Rosia Hawke, ma'am?_

_Who wants to know? _I ask hostilely, annoyed at the boy for interrupting the moment I've longed for. Seemingly undeterred, the urchin hands me a sealed parchment.

_Who is this from?_

_Sorry ma'am, he was cloaked. Couldn't see his face but he was short. A dwarf I'd wager._

Narrowing my eyes in confusion, I open the piece of parchment; reading its contents.

_You might be interested in something that's come up. A contact of mine, a fellow by the name of Anso, is asking around for someone competent regarding a job, and I suggested you. He's always paid well, so if I were you, I'd check into it before someone else snaps it up. He said he'll be in the Lowtown Bazaar at night._

_Athenril_

Reading over the letter again, I huff a bit before tucking it into my vest. I continue walking to meet with Varric, asking his advice about whether I should hold off the expedition for a day.

_Hawke, my brother has been waiting for a month already, he can wait one day. _

Grunting in reluctant agreement with his logic, Varric and I continue toward the Dwarven Quarters.

~0~

_Varric! Where did you get to? _Bartrand asks, looking at me for a moment before continuing, _and what are you planning?_

_Bartrand! So suspicious! I have, in fact, brought us our future partner! _

_What? Partner! You stupid, nug humping dirt farmer! Why would you promise something like that?!_

_Because if we don't get this expedition moving, Brother, then we won't have any profits to argue about, will we?_

Bartrand halts in his retort, considering Varric's words for a moment. I turn to look at Varric and he in turn looks at me; I smirk at him, shaking my head in disbelief while he winks at me. We both turn back to Bartrand when we hear him "humph".

_Maybe you have a point…_

_You don't say? _I thrall out sarcasticly

_What I'd love is the coin to back up my brother's confidence. How about it, Human?_

Huffing, I pull out the coin and jiggle it a bit for effect. _All 50 sovereigns._

_You're joking…_

_What did I tell you, Bartrand? Not bad for a human._

_Alright, partner. Full share between the three of us. Now we just need a decent entrance into the Deep Roads._

_Maps right here._

_What's this? Three… Four entrances into the Deep Roads? All in the Free Marches? Where did you get these?_

_Didn't I tell you we could find a Grey Warden? Mother didn't raise a fool. Well… She didn't raise two of them._

_Well colour me astounded! We just pick the most promising one and go!_

_Ah, Bartrand, Hawke and I have some business to take care of before we go. _Varric says.

Nodding his head dismissively, Bartrand turns away to work out which entrance we will take. Shrugging, we head back to the Hanged Man, waiting for night to come.

~0~

Getting up from my cup of ale, Varric, Carver, Isabela and I head out to meet with this 'Anso'. Walking down the steps, we spot a Dwarf standing around with his back facing us. Walking closer towards him, I tap his should, making him jump in a fright.

_Sweet mother of Partha! You can't just run up on someone like that!_

_Well pay attention next time you plan on meeting someone at night, twit._

_Are you… the one that smuggler told me about? The one looking for work?_

_Is everyone in this Maker forsaken city idiot? Of course I am! Why would I be here if I weren't?!_

_Waah, I'm sorry! I haven't been on the surface very long. I keep thinking I'll fall up into that sky any minute! _The Dwarf cries, flinching into the fetal position. Sighing in annoyance, I yank him up.

_What is the job, Dwarf?_

_Uh… Some product of mine has been… misplaced. The men who were supposed to deliver it decided not to. If you retrieve my property, I could reward you handsomely…_

_What did they steal?_

_Well I wouldn't go so far. They seemed like perfectly reasonable smugglers. They smiled and everything! But the contents are valuable… and illegal. And my clients want them very badly, you know how these Templars can be…_

… _You're smuggling Lyrium to the Templars?_

_Shhh! Not so loudly! So… Will you do it?_

_Make it worth my time, and you got yourself a deal._

_Oh! Yes! Of course! The gentlemen conduct their business in a little hovel in the Alienage. If you kill them, then I guess it couldn't be avoided- But I'm sure they'll be reasonable!_

_Riiiiiight._

~0~

_I'm going to kill the Dwarven bastard._

_Now come on, Hawke, It's just a few… dozen of them._

Growling, I pull out my staff and conjure a Firestorm, summoning hell fire from the skies. I run towards a hunter, roughly cutting his head off with my staff, then turning to the next one and boiling his blood in his body. When the hunter finally falls down, his life extinguished, I turn to see the last few of them being taken down by Varric's precise shots.

_You won't have anything left to kill when I get through with that bastard! _Carver growls as he cleans his Great Sword.

_At least we still have our lives_. Isabela inputs, earning her a hard glare from Carver and I. Striding to the stairs, we stop as another hunter storms out on top of the steps.

_I don't know who are, friend, but_ _you've ma-_

_First off, we aren't friends, arse. Secondly, I suggest that you runaway and quickly before I tear you limb from limb. I'll give you a three second head start, three… two-._

Before I could continue my count, a glowing blue claw punches through the rat-faced hunter's chest. He groans a few times before collapsing in heap on the dusty ground; reveal a snarling white haired elf with the greenest eyes I've ever seen. He looks up at us, defiance and anger in his eyes.

_I… apologize. When I asked Anso to provide a distraction for the hunters, I had no idea they'd be so… numerous. _He says truthfully, if not reluctant to apologize.

_If you wanted a distraction, then you have just asked. _I say tartly

_I didn't know whether you would still do it._

_It doesn't matter, if the coin is good, then I'll do the job. We could have been ready for the ambush instead of going in blind. _I rant, each word growing louder.

_I… apologize profuse-_

_I don't want your apologies, I want my coin so I can go kill Anso then loot his coin from his disembodied corpse. _I huff, crossing my arms in impatience. The elf fidgets uncertainly, before pulling out a coin purse from his belt. I grab for it but he pulls it away, I go to tell him off when he holds up a gauntleted hand.

_I offer you more from where this came from if you can help me with one more job._

_And what job is that? _I ask him testily. He puts the pouch away before kneeling down to the dead hunter and rummaging through his pockets. Satisfied with whatever he's found, he gracefully stands back up.

_It's as I thought. My former Master accompanied them to the city. I know you have question, but I must confront him before he flees. The Magister is staying in a mansion in Hightown, meet me there as soon as you can, we must enter before morning. _He quickly says, turning to leave before I could grab him.

_What is you name at least! _I shout up at him, making him stop to turn and look down at me.

_Fenris_, He simples says before rushing off again.

~0~

_How do we get into situations like this? _Varric asks as we take down the last of the Shade spirits. I sigh heavily as I strap my staff on my back. We climb the stairs to see a door slammed open by Fenris, his Great Sword unsheathed and ready to kill any obstacle in his way. After few moments he storms out of the room, eyes flashing with anger.

_Gone, he is gone. I will be outside. _He tells us curtly before storming off, destroying anything he could hands on. Shrugging indifferently, I head for the first chest in the room, looting anything of value or usefulness before departing from the mansion.

Stepping out into the night, I spot Fenris leaning on a wall, brooding.

_So, you're not just a mage but a __**blood mage**__._ Fenris spits out angrily, as he continues to brood. Narrowing my eyes irritably, I cross my arms over my chest and wait for him to continue.

_Tell me then, what sort of mage are you? What do you seek beside power? _

_Why do you want to know, don't think me to be some power hungry imbecile, elf._

_That is to be seen. I imagine I appear to be ungrateful, if so, I apologize, for nothing could be further from the truth. I did not find Danarius, but I still owe you a debt,_ He says as he tosses the coin purse to me, _Should you find yourself in need of assistance, I will give it._

_You don't seem to thrill with me, how can I trust you to watch my back?_

_You are not Danarius. Whether you are like is to be seen. _He smirks be for finally turning to look at me. Really looking at him, I can see how handsome he is in the moonlight, his snow white hair glows with his markings, making him look other worldly. Tan skin adding to the allure.

_Should you ever have need of me, _Fenris begin as he interrupts my inner workings, _I will be here. If Danarius wishes his mansion back, he is free to return and claim it. Beyond that, I am at your disposal. _He tells me with a slight bow, then turning back towards the deserted mansion.

~0~

_You… take care of mother, alright Rosia?_

_No! You will live!_

_You… always was stubborn…_

_Carver? Carver! CARVER!_

I bolt up in bed, my breath labourious from another night terror. I rub my clean of sweat, only to feel liquid warmth running my cheeks. Furiously wiping away the tears, I try to remember my dream from the previous night. Nothing but indistinguishable images a rise with the morning; leaving me anxious for the times to come.

~0~

_**Sorry I took so long for this chapter, getting ready for finals and what not. Also, sorry about how short it was.**_

_**Please review you beauties ^^**_

_**Night!**_


	8. Chapter 8

Dragon Age 2: Rosia Hawke's Tale

_**Thank you to everyone who has continued to read this story, you guys make it possible ^^.**_

_**Warning(s): Character death; angst; dark**_

_**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Dragon Age 2**_

_Can I see another's woe,_

_And not be in sorrow too?_

_Can I see another's grief,_

_And not seek for kind relief?_

_Can I see a falling tear,_

_And not feel my sorrow's share?_

_Can a father see his child_

_Weep, nor be with sorrow filled?_

_Can a mother sit and hear_

_An infant groan, an infant fear?_

_No, no! never can it be!_

_Never, never can it be!_

_And can He who smiles on all_

_Hear the wren with sorrows small,_

_Hear the small bird's grief and care,_

_Hear the woes that infants bear -_

_And not sit beside the next,_

_Pouring pity in their breast,_

_And not sit the cradle near,_

_Weeping tear on infant's tear?_

_And not sit both night and day,_

_Wiping all our tears away?_

_Oh no! never can it be!_

_Never, never can it be!_

_He doth give his joy to all:_

_He becomes an infant small,_

_He becomes a man of woe,_

_He doth feel the sorrow too._

_Think not thou canst sigh a sigh,_

_And thy Maker is not by:_

_Think not thou canst weep a tear,_

_And thy Maker is not near._

_Oh He gives to us his joy,_

_That our grief He may destroy:_

_Till our grief is fled an gone_

_He doth sit by us and moan._

_-'On Another's Sorrow' William Blake_

_So are you ready? It's a long trek. If you have any business you need to wrap up here, you'd better do it now._

_I'm ready. Let's go._

_Then let's not waste any more time. _

_~0~_

_We've chosen one of the hidden entrances. The Deep Roads there will be nice and virginal, ready for a good deflowering. _Bartrand announces.

Feeling a nudge from my left side, I look over to see Varric chuckling.

_Now there's an interesting image. _He whispers to me, laughter in his voice. I cover my mouth and chuckle with him for a moment before returning to Bartrand's speech.

_It'll take a week to get to the depth we need, and there are bound to be leftover darkspawn from the Blight. Big risks, and big rewards. _He adds almost like an afterthought. _Now, before we… Wait. Who invited the old woman? _Bartrand barks as he spots Leandra storming up towards us.

I turned to look at her; she snapped her hand on my cheek.

_YOU WILL NOT HAVE MY SON KILLED!_

_Mother-!_

_NO CARVER! WE ARE LEAVING __**NOW**__! _Leandra yells, clearly frantic. Carver walks up to her, anger and determination in his eyes.

_No mother, I __**am**__ going on this expedition, and you can't do anything to stop me from doing it. _Carver sternly tells her, turning his back, ultimately ending the discussion.

Leandra turns to me again, instead of hatred there was desperation and fear in her eyes. Then for the first time in a long time, I see the mother figure I longed to love me back. I see my own mother's fearful eyes looking down at me, the last caring look from her before she died.

_Rosia… Please… _She begins, her voice cracking and tired. She grips my vest, tears spilling from her eyes.

Gently clasping her hands, I held them as I looked at her. _I can't change Carver's mind, Leandra… I'm sorry…, _I quietly tell her, letting her hands fall to either side of her as she look at me with defeated eyes. I turn my back as well, not wanting to look at the woman's eyes, the ones I'm supposed to hate; a feeling I felt since Bethany's death was gripping at my lungs: Guilt.

_Personal drama over with? Then let's get underway._

~0~

Walking further down into our second week, Bartrand stops us; one of his scouts running towards us, an uneasiness on his face.

_There's been a collapse—the way forward is blocked._

_What?! There's no way around?! _Bartrand booms at the scout, causing him huddle into his self.

_N-not that I've been able to find. The side passages are too dangerous. _The man meekly tells him.

Bartrand stood there for a few moments, gauging the man whilst scratching his dirty blond beard. Shrugging his shoulders, he punches the man with so much force, we could hear the impact.

_Useless! What am I paying you blighters for?! Set camp, _Bartrand orders. Varric and I shared a glance, shrugging before continuing on.

We continue our slow march into the Deep Roads, hours or more passing by us. Bartrand stops, halting everyone else's passage.

_Problems, brother? _Varric asks him in good humour. Bartrand turns, a scowl (not very new) on his face.

_Sodding Deep Roads! Who knows how long it'll take to clear the path! _Bartrand booms, his face turning a few funny shades of red and purple.

_Shall we not try to find a way around, instead? Seems like the logical choice._ Varric calmly suggests

_You think I'm an Idiot, Varric?! The-_

_Do you really want me to answer that?_ Varric asks him

_Varric…, _Bartrand growls in frustration

_Alright, alright! Just trying to liven the mood. _He says, placing both of he hands up in surrender.

_The scouts say the side passages are too dangerous. _Bartrand continues on

_Hello. You have two powerful mages, a warrior that was in the army, and your brother who is a crack shot... I'm sure we'll manage. _I tell him sarcastically

_And if we come running back, screaming, then you'll know staying put was the right decision._

_Fine, fine! Find a way around. Just do it quickly! _Bartrand yells, obviously not thrilled about letting us go explore on our own.

Just as we were about to leave, a distraught dwarf walks in front our entourage.

_Ah, excuse me miss, if you have a moment?_

_Bohdan? _Varric speaks ups, pushing past me to talk to the dwarf

He nods a curtly, giving Varric a small, sad smile.

_What's wrong, man? Where's Sandal?_

_Who? _Merrill asks

_Sandal, his son, _Varric tells her, still looking at Bohdan.

_That's what I'd like to talk about, _Bohdan tells us, _He… he's disappeared…_

_What?_

_I can't find him anywhere! I've looked high and low for him but he's nowhere to be found! I-I think he wandered off somewhere dangerous- well more dangerous than with us. So please, Miss Rosia, PLEASE find him!_

I look down at him and nod, patting his head before walking off with the others trailing behind me.

~0~

_HOW THE FUCK DID WE GET IN THIS MESS?! _I scream behind a boulder to Varric, who is also hiding from the wave of fire. Simply shrugging, he goes to shoot at the dragon guarding our passage.

After finding Sandal and sending him back on his way, we wander further into the darkspawn and, apparently, giant spider infested tunnels. Finally battling our way through the last darkspawn we walk into a clearing that leads into a safer route, confirmed by Varric. We were a few steps out when we heard a high-piercing roar and loudly flapping wings. A moment is all we had before running back into the narrow cavern and ducking for cover before the flames came.

Groaning loudly, I add to Varric and Merrill's onslaught, Carver unable to help without being eaten or burned alive. Merrill and I bust out every ice and lightning spell we could before tiring out, our Lyrium reserve slowly but steadily running out. Then we hear the dragon wings beating against the air, followed by a loud 'thump'. Turning to see where the dragon has gone, we spot it in front of the exit, letting out a loud roar. Then we hear other smaller shrieks coming closer and closer, dread in our eyes as we wonder what else is the dragon summoning.

The tiny shrieks grew closer. We peered out into the room, seeing baby dragons scampering towards us at a fast pace. Seeing no real escape behind us, we ran out into the room, wanting to put distance between us so we could have better range.

Seeing this, the mother dragon took to flight and landed in between myself and the others. Stumbling backwards and falling on my bum, I stared up at her in sheer terror, my mind going blank and everything going black within seconds.

~0~

_Rosia!_

The sound of muffled shouts rousing me back to reality, I shook the fuss from my brain before actually seeing my comrades. Varric is staring hard at me with a concerned expression, his knuckles white from gripping Bianca strongly. I turn to Merrill, her eyes filled with tears while her hands were covering her mouth. Then there's Carver, shaking me still with an iron grip that could break my bones if any more pressure were applied. His eyes are wild, voice raw from screaming-still screaming-my name. I place my hand on one of his hands, unsuccessfully trying to dislodge it. Seeing that I am conscious, Varric pulls Carver back carefully, not wanting him to lash out.

_What happened? Why aren't I dead? _I ask in confusion, looking at every face around me before looking out to the room.

Dragonling limbs covered the floor, their blood pooling around the now lifeless mother dragon.

_What did I do? _I ask gravely.

Merrill stepped up this time, kneeling down so that only I can hear.

_I… What you did seemed like a series of spells combined to make one large one. It happened so quickly that I can't really Identify what spells, but it was blood mage and some other tree for sure._

_Wait… I… combined spells in a rapid session?_

_Yes. _Merrill says with a nod. I look up at Carver and Varric in a somewhat dazed state, my mind reeling with this new information to consider. I must have taken too long to get up because Carver pulls me up, surprisingly gentle and with ease. Feeling heat rise up my neck, I push him away, turning to the stairs.

_So you guys ready or what? We need to tell Bartrand so we can get going._

Looking over my shoulder, I spot Varric and Merrill glancing nervously to each other while Carver broods to the side with his arms across his chest. Shrugging I begin to climb the stairs, leaving them to run after me.

`~0~

_Bartrand! We found a way around your damn cave in! _Varric announces as we enter the encampment.

_It's about time. Everyone, move out!_

_Well that's gratitude for you. _Varric whispers to me, We snicker before following the caravan.

~0~

We walk along a dark corridor, the source of light at the end of it. Bartrand and Varric stop with wonderment in their eyes on their faces.

Large crystals line the walls, raw Lyrium tamed and marking a flight of stairs and separate corridors at each landing. The Thaig is huge and old; looking like it has not seen living creatures in centuries.

_Holy shit…, _Bartrand whispers.

_Is this what you were expecting?_ I ask

_I thought… an abandoned Thaig, something old, but… what is this? _

_How did you even know it was here?_

_Old scavenger tales. After the Third Blight. 'A week below the surface', they said, but no one believed them…_

_Looks like they were right. _Varric breathes

_Make camp here! We need to look around…_

Standing up from my party's small fire, I walk up to Bartrand; wanting to discuss our next course of action.

_I don't get it. Nothing in this Thaig makes sense._ He grumbles to himself, not noticing me approaching him.

_Why's that?_ I ask with a frown.

He starts a bit at hearing my voice, nearly making me laugh at the shocked look on his bearded face. Recovering after a few moments of my convulsing of barely held back laughter.

_We're well below the Deep Roads. Whatever dwarves lived here, they came long before the First Blight. Where are the statues of Paragons? I don't recognize these markings on the wall or anything in the rubble. _

Shrugging indifferently, I crossed my arms across my chest. Puffing in irritation, Bartrand shoos me away before walking away, muttering colourful language most likely. Smirking at the dwarf, I turn back to my party and tell them to get ready and explore.

Walking up the stair way, Bohdan nearly rush hugs me, grateful words and promises spilling from his lips. I shove him away hurriedly when I begin to hear Varric's snickering, shooing him away before stooping off into one of the many corridors.

~0~

_Look at this, Bartrand. _Varric shouts as Bartrand enters the room. I go back to studying the queer artifact, a menacing power leaking out of it.

_An idol made of pure Lyrium, I think; could be worth a fortune. _Varric continues with a winning smile on his face and in his voice a warm like 'hum.'

A sharp, drawn out whistle pierced the room's silence, I cock my head towards the sound to see Bartrand, a bit harder looking in the face than usual. I stand there eyeing him suspiciously. Noting the distance in his voice, and cold cunning in his eyes, I slowly turn my head towards Varric, planning to whisper my observations to him, when he throws Bartrand the idol. It reacts in his hand, a brilliant red light covering it for a second or so before returning to its lower glow. I stand there, shocked, as Bartrand walks out of the chamber, pulling the door behind him.

_The door! _Is all I have time to shout before leaping down steps trying to keep it open. But we were to late, the door just slamming shut as I reached it.

Varric is the first to pound on the door.

_Bartrand, It shut behind you!_

_You always did notice everything, Varric._

_Are you joking? You'd screw your own brother for a lousy idol?!_

_Not just the idol. The location of the Thaig alone is worth a fortune, and I'm not splitting it three-ways. Sorry, brother! _Bartrand says before we hear his retreating footsteps.

_Bartrand! Bartrand! __**BARTRAND!**_

~0~

_First, Stone Golems, then Shades, then some sort of fucking rock demons! _I shout as electricity courses through the room, my companions and I hiding behind a well-positioned pillar.

_Now a GIANT fucking rock demon! If we meet the Maker next, so help me…_

We decided to take the hunger-demon-in-costume's deal, wanting to hurry out of the Deep Roads so I could find that slimy bastard and wring his neck. We met no opposition except for Carver's high fever that hinders him incapable to see straight, and the behemoth we are now facing.

Finally, the lightening ends and we head out into battle, our faces and bodies filthy from dirt, dust, and blood.

~0~

_This part of the Deep Roads looks familiar. _

_We're back where we started, and in only five days. Not bad, eh? _Varric jokingly says, a breath of relief escaping his mouth.

_Think we could… take a break? I feel… wrong. _Carver gasps.

I turn to look at him, remembering the medical skills that Malcolm taught Bethany and I. I curtly nod my head at Varric, walking over to Carver and catching him just as he was about to fall on the ground.

_This isn't a fever…_

_The sickness… the taint…_

My mouth dries immediately. I can't think or hear or see anything but the hollowing of Carver's eyes and shallow breaths.

_No…, _Is all I can croak out before he begins coughing haggardly, a bit of blood spilling on the floor. I just stand there and watch as more and more blood pours out of his pale lips. He looks at me then, the coughing subsiding enough for him to gasp out in a plea.

_En-end… this… please…_

I let go of him then, backing away from his withering body, my head shaking without me fully taking notice. Then a hand is on my shoulder, I turn to look at Merrill, a sad and faraway look in her large eyes.

_I-I can't… No, no, no… I promised him that I'd protect them all…, _I begin to ramble, to try and explain it to someone-anyone. She merely nods her head sagely, a grim expression on her face before she lets go.

_Go and comfort him, Rosia._ I numbly walk to him, kneeling down in front of his slowly dying body. Then, with the last of his strength, he grasps my vest and coughs blood on it, dying before he could tell me his last words. I stay there for what seems like days, unblinkingly staring at Carver's lifeless body, his blood pooled around him. Then I remember to breathe. The breathes are too shallow to retain any real air, making me panick, my eyes dart around franticly to make it stop, my body rocks back and forth on its own. I look up at Merrill and Varric, their face grim and frightened at Carver's death and my reaction.

Merrill is the first to act. She lifts me up gently; I push her away and begin to pace, running my hands through my hair, my heart beating faster and faster, as if it were about to explode. My eyes rapidly move around now, the shallow breaths now full on pants for air, and I grip my hair tightly, wanting it to stop. I soon crumble back on to the floor, my knees up against my chest and sweat falling from my brow in beads. I can't remember much after that, only the blood.

~0~

_**Holy cow, it has been a while since I've updated this story! I'm sorry again for that, couldn't really get the right emotions for this one. And sorry if Rosia may seem out of character(less bitchy).**_

_**The next chapter will be three-years later and a much darker Rosia, hell, she'll out brood Fenris if I have any say about it!**_

_**Also, I'm wondering you guys would want me to be more descriptive with the battle scenes. Please leave a msg or review with the answer.**_

_**And just review for feedback please! (Thank you Stephaniekit!)**_

_**I'd also like to thank my new beta for revising this chapter, and making me laugh with her commentary. You're the best, madame!**_

_**Happy Fourth of July to whomever lives in the states as well ^^.**_


	9. Chapter 9

Dragon Age 2: Rosia Hawke's Tale

_**Warning(s): Drug abuse; may be a trigger for some, if so then don't read, please.**_

_**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Dragon Age, Bioware does**_

'_I feel so extraordinary_

_Something's got a hold on me_

_I get this feeling I'm in motion_

_A sudden sense of liberty_

_I don't care 'cause I'm not there_

_And I don't care if I'm here tomorrow_

_Again and again I've taken too much_

_Of the things that cost you too much_

_I used to think that the day would never come_

_I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun_

_My morning sun is the drug that brings me near_

_To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear_

_I used to think that the day would never come_

_That my life would depend on the morning sun..._

_When I was a very small boy,_

_Very small boys talked to me_

_Now that we've grown up together_

_They're afraid of what they see_

_That's the price that we all pay_

_Our valued destiny comes to nothing_

_I can't tell you where we're going_

_I guess there was just no way of knowing_

_I used to think that the day would never come_

_I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun_

_My morning sun is the drug that brings me near_

_To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear_

_I used to think that the day would never come_

_That my life would depend on the morning sun..._

_I feel so extraordinary_

_Something's got a hold on me_

_I get this feeling I'm in motion_

_A sudden sense of liberty_

_The chances are we've gone too far_

_You took my time and you took my money_

_Now I fear you've left me standing_

_In a world that's so demanding_

_I used to think that the day would never come_

_I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun_

_My morning sun is the drug that brings me near_

_To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear_

_I used to think that the day would never come_

_That my life would depend on the morning sun...'_

_- New Order, 'True Faith'_

_**The walk back felt eternal; the city to bright. Finally, I stop at the bottom of Gamlen's stairs to his hovel. Each step I take closer to the door feels like lead is attached to my feet. I gingerly rapt on the door. Hoping that no one answers me. But of course the Maker is to cruel for that; Leandra slowly opens the door, her body tense. She looks up at me, shock openly on her face. Then peers behind me, obviously searching for Carver; my throat tightens just thinking his name.**_

_Where is Carver? __**She asks timidly.**_

_**I look away from her, my body shaking. After a moment, I recover myself enough to look at her and whisper, **__I'm sorry…_

_**Leandra instantly drops to the floor, tears rolling down her cheeks and wails pouring from her mouth. I close my eyes so I don't have to look at her hunched form. But I can hear everything she says; every cry uttered from her mouth.**_

_He was only a baby! He was only a baby! My children!_

~0~

I deeply inhaled the Deathroot incense, letting its disorientating effects take hold of me. Katriela filled my cup back up with my usual poison, adding enough Orichalcum and Lyrium to not kill me, while Serendipity fondled my breast. I moaned softly in my cup before quickly down all of it, gesturing for Katriela to fill it up again. My vision starts to haze finally. I arched up into Serendipity's expert caresses as she lowered her nimble fingers to my flushed-lower lips. Then The door slams open, revealing a not so amused beardless Dwarf and a scantily clad dark-skinned woman.

_Wha-?! _I begin before the Dwarf tells my skilled friends to leave. They scamper out of the room, their half-naked bodies clutching their discarded clothing. The woman closes the door behind her as they walk into the room quietly.

_Rosia… you can't keep doing this…_, the dwarf sighs sadly. I try to reach out and touch him, but my body is too comfortable on the sheets to bother moving. I lay there, staring up at the creamy ceiling, the pretty shapes and colours making me giggle. The bed sinks slightly as the woman put her weight on it, lying down next to me. She begin lazily petting my head, I mummer softly as my eyes fall closed.

~0~

I woke to a painful headache, groaned and clutched my head; I leave the bed only after casting a minor healing spell. I look around, I see instead of colourful décor, my drab and modest room. I scrunch my eyes, trying to remember what happened at the Blooming Rose last night for me to end up home. Sighing in defeat, I head for my bathing room, grabbing a robe on the way.

Relaxing into the steaming water, I lay back and look at nothing.

_**You can't keep running away from your trouble, Rosia.**_ I hear Varric scolding in my head, making me smile a bit before hugging my knees. I get out of the lukewarm water, wrapping myself in my robes and walks into my room. I jump a little to see Isabela sitting on my wide bed, casually reading my journal. I walk over and snatch it from her with a scowl. She just looks up at me and smiles.

_Hello sweet thing, how are you? _She inquires as she lies back on her elbows. I shrug a reply, setting my journal down and opening my wardrobe. Pulling out a pair of plain robes, I shrug off my bathrobes and go to get some smallclothes. I hear a whistle from Isabela in appreciation as I put on my clothing; rolling my eyes at her whilst pulling on my boots.

_So what brings you here, Isabela? Certainly, not my compelling company._

_What, I can't come and visit Kirkwall's favourite sociopath? _She asks in feign hurt; pout and puppy dog eyes making me huff in exasperation. Laughing a bit at my expression, Isabela gets up and strolls over to the door.

_Sweet thing, we're having an outing tonight at the Hanged Man._ _Varric and I wondered if you wanted to come. _Isabela tells me over her shoulder.

_Why would I-_.

_Kitten will be there, she misses you, Rosia._ Isabela turns fully at me then, _you haven't gone to see her or any of us since you got back from the Deep Roads. I heard what happened down there, and the Maker only knows what you are feeling, but you're drowning yourself in drugs, alcohol, and sex. There's only room for one person to do that and that's me._ She lectures.

… _Fine, I'll go. Just make sure Merrill is there. _I grumble as I shoo Isabela away. She blows me a kiss before closing the door and leaving. I sigh into my hands and grab my staff, tying my hair back into a loose ponytail before leaving my modest home.

~0~

I walked into the Hanged Man, Isabela and Varric instantly greeting me and lead me to where everyone else was. Merrill is the first to greet me, jumping to hug me and asking endless questions on what I've been doing. I easily lie, glaring at Isabela and Varric to keep their mouths shut. I nod my greetings to Anders and Fenris, lastly shaking Aveline's hand.

The night continues with no trouble aside from a bar fight between two men over some book title. I sit back and look at my party, their smiles and lack of one (Fenris of course), and smile myself. I forgot how nice it was to be with them, to not be so high I forget get what day it is and what happened the night before, to live in the present. Uselessly shaking my muddled head, I walk out of the pub for air. I breathe in the sulfuric smelling breeze deeply, filling my lungs till it hurts before slowly breathing out and looking up at the somewhat starry night. I hear the door open and look to see who is leaving the Hanged Man; Fenris calmly walks out of the pub, looking as if to go and brood at his manor. I don't know what compelled me to call out to him; blaming my uncharacteristic regard for him and his prejudice on the amount of alcohol consumed, I walk with him home. We walk in companionable silence, the only noise being his heavy footsteps. When we reach his home, I turn to leave, not wanting to stay for any awkward silence. To my surprise, that was not the case.

_Hawke, _I hear from behind me, turning around, I see Fenris waiting with his tattooed arms crossed across his chest.

_Rosia_

_What?_

_I'm not a "Hawke", so call me Rosia._ I tell him casually.

He nods shortly after and gestures for me to follow him. Confused, I follow him into his manor, noting that it looks exactly the same as it did the last time I was here. We enter the master chambers; Fenris walks over to the fire place and a lights it easily. Then, pulls out a bottle of wine from a crate on top of his paper littered table. He opens the bottle and gulps half of its content down, stopping to sit down by the fire and offers it to me. I take it and sip, not really trusting the brooding elf's tastes of poison. My eyes widen at the rich taste; looking to my side at Fenris, I see him smirk.

_It's Agreggio, the only thing good out of the Imperium._ Fenris says, that smirk still on his face.

_And you just happened to find some amongst this mess?_

_I have my ways, _Fenris eludes with a low chuckle that makes my shudder pleasantly. _**Pleasantly shuddering because of Fenris? Enough drinking for you tonight, Rosia…**_ I think to myself as I hand back the bottle. Raising an eyebrow in question, he drinks the rest with little effort.

_Where have you really been, Rosia?_

I narrow my eyes at him in anger and suspicion.

_Varric and Isabela told you, didn't they?_

_They didn't have to, I know the signs._

_Well then you don't need to know where I've been. _I tell him snappishly.

He shrugs indifferently as he opens another bottle and drinks. We sit like that for a while before I get up leave. Walking to the door, I hear him say behind me,

_If you need help, go to the abomination._

_I didn't ask for your advice._

_Doesn't matter, it is given._

I stride from his mansion all the way to my home. Throwing the door open then closed, I quickly go to my room and take out some diluted Lyrium and Orichalcum, mixing them together without another diluent. I down the concoction hurriedly, coughing up a bit. The effect is quick and hard, beautiful visions are everywhere. For a moment I think I see the Maker, only to be taken down again. So I add more, and it the hallucinations continue until I drink more.

More, more, more! The more I take, the long it lasts. I feel utter joy and elation set my nerves a fire. I run out into the filthy city, howling like a Mabari to the moon. I'm filled with exhilaration as I look into the great nothingness of the night.

~0~

_**Sorry that the chapter was so short. Thanks for reading again and please leave a review!**_


	10. Chapter 10

Dragon Age II: Rosia Hawke's Tale

_**(I suggest reading my AN first before reading this chapter.)**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age, just this story.**_

'_Love of mine, some day you will die_

_But I'll be close behind_

_I'll follow you into the dark_

_No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white_

_Just our hands clasped so tight_

_Waiting for the hint of a spark_

_If Heaven and Hell decide_

_That they both are satisfied_

_Illuminate the "No"'s on their vacancy signs_

_If there's no one beside you_

_When your soul embarks_

_Then I'll follow you into the dark_

_In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule_

_I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black_

_And I held my tongue as she told me,_

_"Son, fear is the heart of love."_

_So I never went back_

_If Heaven and Hell decide_

_That they both are satisfied_

_Illuminate the "No"'s on their vacancy signs_

_If there's no one beside you_

_When your soul embarks_

_Then I'll follow you into the dark_

_You and me have seen everything to see_

_From Bangkok to Calgary_

_And the soles of your shoes are all worn down_

_The time for sleep is now_

_It's nothing to cry about_

_'Cause we'll hold each other soon_

_In the blackest of rooms_

_If Heaven and Hell decide_

_That they both are satisfied_

_Illuminate the "No"'s on their vacancy signs_

_If there's no one beside you_

_When your soul embarks_

_Then I'll follow you into the dark_

_Then I'll follow you into the dark'_

_-Death Cab for Cutie 'I'll follow you into the Dark'_

_Serah Hawke_

_Arishok_

The three Qunari on the stairs growl in warning, while the ones behind us, draw their weapons. Merrill looks around with unease at towering soldiers, even Varric's jokes and assurances could not came her nerves. The Arishok raises his hand in a silent command to make them halt, all the while gauging me. It was a surprise to be summoned by Dumar after the affair with his son three years ago, but learning that the Arishok told him to call for me was more of one, despite our shared contempt for one another. Looking at him now, I can still see that same scorn and disgust from last time, and it's more comforting than unnerving.

_Last we met, I did not know your name._ He begins, _I did not care to. You have changed your fortune over the years. The Qunari have not. _He ends with a scowl.

_So what?_ _You want a handout? _I ask him with smug satisfaction. Sadly, he did not take the jibe.

_No._

_Then what, O'Arishok, could __**you**__ want from __**me**__?_ I ask in fake humility, adding a flamboyant bow for emphasis.

_I offer a courtesy, __**Hawke**__. Someone has stolen what he thinks to be the formula for gaatlok. _The Arishok says just as emotionless as always. I look at him with wide eyes, surprised that he would offer me anything.

_And what is this worth to me?_ I ask with a bored drawl.

_A thousand lives._ He simply says, piquing my interest. _The stolen formula was a decoy. Saar-qamek—a poison gas, not explosives. A small amount is dangerous enough for your kind. But if made in quantity, perhaps by someone intending to sell it…, _He trails off, leaving me to come to my own conclusion.

_Javarius?_ Varric questions in serious tones.

_Would he be cautious, or would he assume success and make enough to threaten a district? A courtesy, Hawke, you __**will**__ want to hunt him._ The Arishok ends with a graceful wave of his hand, as if to dismiss us. I stand my ground with a crossing of my arms across my chest.

_The last time we spoke, you nearly bit my head off._ _Why warn me now? _I interrogate.

_Despite your lack of understanding, you are capable._ _What I wish to decide is if you are capable of understanding. _The Arishok says with slight impatience, adding lastly before we are herded out, _save your streets from this fool dwarf. Then, we will talk. Panahedan Hawke, it will be interesting to see if you die._

_So, Varric, any idea where we can find Javarius? _I ask while readjusting my robes.

~0~

_Stop cowering, Javarius! _I bark at him irritability.

_**You**__? Granny garters she would hire __**you**__. I can't buy a break on discount!_ Javarius grumbles to himself aloud.

_Who is this "she" first of all,_ Varric interjects as he straps Bianca to his back.

_You don't know?_

_Hence the previous question, _I sarcastically say.

_Look, I'm minding business, same old, and out of the blue some tries to kill me. Says she's got the Qunari powder and I'm her cover. I slipped her, hired some bodyguards, and ran for it. And now you're here. Great…_, Javarius explains sullenly.

_Why you of all people?_

_How in blazes am I supposed to know?! Here, you want to drag dark to light. I had a man follow her. The elf's in Lowtown. _He says nervously, _I just want to get out. With my dead guards._

_What do you think, Varric?_

_Either he's a good actor or he's telling the truth, and I can't see any signs of him lying. _Varric announces, Javarius visibly relaxes with a long sigh of relief.

_Hurry up and get a move on._ _Leave the bodies behind, we own that loot now. _I command steely. Javarius nods his head jerkily before scrambling out of sight.

_Well let's hurry to Lowtown before shit hits the fan._ I say before we hastily run back to Kirkwall.

~0~

_All of you, I can't fight the damned air! You want to live, stay out!_

_Out of my way newbie._ I tell the guard as I push him to the side.

_Wait!_ _Messere Rosia!_ The guard calls out, but Varric stops him.

_You have a better chance of hearing your Maker than changing her mind. Don't worry, kid, if Aveline tries to tear you a new one, just send her my way._ Varric tells the youth before joining Merrill, Anders, and I at the stairs.

_But…_ _shit._

The entire air was covered in a green miasma along with the corpses of the civilians that did not make it out of the cloud in time. We all cover our noses with pieces of clothes as not to breathe the poisonous fumes in deeply. Splitting up and scouring the air for any clues as to stop the fake barrels from pouring out more of the gas, Merrill is the first to find a steel latch to shut one of the barrels. Soon after shutting a nearby barrel, a dozen or so mercenaries appear from the shadows and off the roofs, surrounding our party of four. Merrill and I set about freezing, charring, and electrocuting every enemy in sight; Anders wards the ground around us and sets up a shield while Varric is firing away at the archers. The mercenaries are immediately taken down, leaving us to separate again to look for the rest of the latches. We reach to one another with a Steel latch in hand, going shutting the barrels.

_Serah Rosia, you have enemies! _We hear as a sickly looking elf woman dressed in armor and holding a two-handed sword like it was a stick walks into sight.

_So you're the bitch that cause this._ I calmly say as I assess her.

_Qunari take my people!_ The ill elf woman shouts out in a heartbroken tone, _my siblings forget their culture, then go to the Qun for purpose. We're losing them twice! _She rants hysterically.

_She is suffering some sort of madness._ Anders announces. I roll my eyes at his obvious diagnosis.

_Gee, and here I thought she was going to be the next bleeding Andraste._ I tell him in a irritated voice, making him huff with indignity.

_Rosia, this really isn't the time, wait until we're done._ Varric says with a smirk.

_It can still work!_ _They'll enrage the faithful, and make sure the Qunari are blamed!_

_Who are "they"? _Varric asks in a coaxing tone, but it was of no use, fore the elven warrior attacked us after her inner/outer dialogue.

~0~

_So I was wrong about our thief._

_Looks like it._ I say with disinterest.

_Selfishness, want, denial- how do you allow this to continue? _The Arishok asks in clear disgust and frustration. I look at him with a quirked eyebrow as I answer.

_How can we stop the waves from moving? Or night from turning into day? We can't stop what them just as much as any other creature._

The Arishok looks at me with thoughtful eyes before looking down between his guarded legs before looking to me again.

_Since we arrived, I have seen nothing but greed and weakness. Dwarves; Humans; Elves- just… festering. No order, no goal. __**You**__ are one the few that I have met with any ability, despite your lack of understanding. And yet, this too was random, a result of selfishness. I cannot fathom how mire like this can be justified. How can you bear to stay In this… chaos? _He asks in true confusion.

_That is the world, nothing is in order; it doesn't have a goal. Can you control when it rain? Or when a storm comes? Even you Qunari live in chaos. Constant order and goal created a separate group, the Tal-Vashoth. Can't you see your way of living has caused chaos as well? _I question him, earning many growls at the mention of the Tal-Vashoth. Again, he looks at me with a thoughtful eye, quickly pushing it away in favour of a blank one. He then stands up and walks to the top of the starts and stops.

_Karasten are soldiers. The Qun made it so. They can never vary from their designed path. Never be other than they are meant to be. But, they are free to choose within that role. To accept and succeed, or deny and die. Glory is clear and defined. It is undeniable certainty. That is the order I speak of._

_So it's 'do as we say or die'? Yes I can how orderly that is._

_It is. He chooses to be. As do we all, long before any of your meaningless freedoms are presented._

_Mm. So you want to convert us too, I assume?_

_If the Qun demands our role to change, then so it. But I am not here to fight: I am here to satisfy a demand of the Qun you cannot understand._

_And it's taking this long?_

_It will take as long as needed. No ship is coming. There is no rescue from the duty to the Qun. I am stuck here. A simply act of greed has bound me. We are all denied Par Vollen until I alone recover what was lost under my command. That is why this elf and her shadows are unimportant! That is why I do not simply walk from this __**pustule**__ of a city! Fixing your mess is __**not**__ the demand of the Qun! __**And you should all be grateful!**_ The Arishok snaps; his voice raises enough to make a few of the soldiers jolt in fear. I simply give him a firm look, refusing to back down. Forcing his composure to calm, he walks back to his seat and sits down tiredly.

_Thank you, __**human**__, for your services. Leave. _He commands with a tone full of barely suppressed rage. As we're again herded off I stand my ground just across from the outside of the gate and look at the Arishok again with indomitable, hard eyes.

_You say we are disorderly; selfish; greedy; and wanting, but you just revealed your own wants. You Qunari selfishly rip people's worlds and homes apart, and for a demand of the Qun? Your __**Qun**__ sounds greedy; selfish; wanting; and disorderly itself! You have __**gale**__ to try and say you will not, like we asked you, to 'fix our mess'. You all are nothing more than self-righteous; __**glory hungry grey giants**__! You're not above us! _I shout angrily, surprise I still have such beliefs, much less, preach them. The entire compound is in a dead silence, even the hustle outside seems to have ended. The Arishok looks as if he was about to explode in a God-like rage, ripping me limb-from-limb just to barely satisfy it. Taking that as my sign to leave, I rush through the open gates with Varric, Merrill, and Anders in tow. The gate slams shut, ending the deafening silence I created in the surrounding area. We quickly make it to the Hanged Man, Isabela following after our briskly walking forms to Varric's lodgings. Finally letting go of a breath I didn't know I was holding, I crumble into one of his stone chairs.

_What happen? It looks like you guys just saw Gamlen having sex. _Isabela jokingly quips.

_That would have been preferable. _Anders gasps, his entire face drained of colour.

_Shit, Rosia; where did __**that**__ come from? _Varric asks astonished. I shake my head in wonder myself.

_You've got me._

_Great now I __**really**__ want to know what happened! _Isabela whines need while rubbing Merrill's back comfortingly. We all share a look before shaking our heads in negative; Varric ordering all kinds of swill to distract Isabela's prodding; and for the rest us, who just really needed a long night of drinking.

~0~

_**AN: This will be the last chapter for a while (yes yes, add any sarcastic reviews and comments about that not being new. No really please, I love that.). I'm going to be frank with you all, I probably won't even continue this story- hell it wasn't even supposed to be a story really, just a few chapters of all of the shit Rosia went through and some rivalmance with Fenris (because that's the only fun away of doing it. Not to mention hilarious!). Now I don't even really know where I want this story to go anymore. This chapter was supposed to show how Rosia is looking for Redemption for her failings, but it just sounded like the beginning of Arishok and f!Hawke romance! GAAAAH, so frustrating! But that's how I work (t'is a blessing and a curse, like most things.). So I just wanted to thank you (see what I mean? I go off track when I try to go into detail only to make a long ass speech about) all for reading; following; favouriting; and reviewing my Dragon Age 2 story, hopefully we'll met again in another chapter. If you'd like to, you guys can read my other stories. I'm also in the middle of writing like seven stories right now (This is another reason I take a while to update. Plus, I really didn't need to that last bit.).**_

_**P.S. – Which pairing would you guys like more: Rosia and Fenris, or Rosia and the Arishok? (I really can't choose, I love them both!)**_

_**P.S.S. – Sorry for/if there was any out of character moments with Rosia. Though, she is supposed to be a optimistic and helpful person at heart, she is very wayward, as is the nature of her world.**_

_**P.S.S.S. – I really love the Qunari race, they are just so… gah, I can't explain my feeling for them, but I so love their culture and language and all around thinking, even if I do oppose some of it.**_

_**This is my finally (probably) thank you for reading "Dragon Age 2: Rosia Hawke's Tale". Have a wonderful life!**_


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